Hello everyone, <P>I promised an update when we got back from vacation and I said look for me in recovery, but as well as things are going I don't want to jinx myself so will hold off.<P>Guess I better go way back. I just had my 2 year discovery date 1 month ago and it was tough, lots of bad memories and I was'nt real pleasant, but he was there for me.<P>He's been home since Thanksgiving and it's still been a rollercoaster, until a couple of months ago because of his withdrawal, a couple of slips that we talked through (I did not tell him to go) and me letting go of resentment that I had built up.<P>I did, we learned how to communciate, I saw for the first time my needs being met and saw that you really do get what you give. This without counceling. Just what I have learned here and through books.<P>He had to move at his own pace and I had to learn to let things go and even though it took this long it happened. Pretty much like kat1 said. I became this calm peacefull person and he slowly let go and changed his ways. Spent all the time with me and the kids. Turned of the pager. <P>We just had 11 wonderfull days together on a 4000 mile road trip being together 24-7 and had a wonderfull time (first trip with no withdrawal) and really opened up.<P>On our anniversay in Reno after a night of gambling and drinking I gave him a deep card I had put a lot of thought into and wrote some real special stuff and he looked real sad, no card, but lots of sweet talk and I still cried.<P>Then I thought, how stupid. Here I am laying on heart shaped bed, looking up at heart shaped ivy on the ceiling (we had an anniversay suite) and realized it does not matter. We are together and look what he has done. He went to the lobby and came back with Champagne and borrowed some flowers because they had none for sale.<P>Anyway enough of that mushy stuff. I'm so in love with him again and can tell he is love with me, not just words. We are laughing and joking and life is good and is only going to get better.<P>So thanks to everyone who has been helping me through my long ordeal. I really had doubts to our survival, but it is my goal and will continue to pursue it, despite the amount of time and pain. I can say right now it was worth it!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>Lilly<P>[This message has been edited by Lilly (edited April 25, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Lilly (edited April 25, 2000).]
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