Well today I spoke with Steve Harley... He said I need to keep with Plan A.... <P>I would like to hear from those that are recovering and those seeing progress, how you handled yourself during Plan A.<P>I'll take any tips and all the advice I can get... <P>You can search my name and then you'll know my situation....<P>Thanks a bunch... I really appreciate it....<P>Scoick

Hi, Scoick!!<P>Well, we're recovering and doing pretty well I must say, so I'll be glad to help if I can.<P>First off all. Have you gone to the "Just found out" board and read Jim's "notable threads/posts" thread??? Not just the Plan a/b part, but all of it. You'll find a lot of great information there.<P>Now, after you do that, how specifically can we help?????<P>Hang in there - it's DEFINITELY worth it!!!<P>Lori

Thanks lostva !!<P>I sure will be busy reading all this stuff....... I guess encouragement is what I need.... Sometime I feel like throwing up my hands !! But I do want my marriage, because I truly know what kind of husband I have here... As far as I know he hasn't seen her since Oct/99... still talks with her several times a week.. I'm doing my darndest not to LB... I think to myself, Do I really want to hear him say the samethings again??? (blah, blah, blah !!) and like Steve H said.. "why put those thoughts in his head" (divorce, op etc...)<P>Just encouragement.... I would like to write my H a letter, or leave little notes for him... just don't want to smother or seem to unreal for him... any suggestions... Thanks....scoick

Oops, sorry. I don't stop by every day and it took me a while to get back.<P>Think....think about what's important to him. And don't forget YOU. The first thing Robert said to his family was not about how nice I was being to him (when I actually got to SEE him), but "I like the person that Lori is now." That's a BIG thing.<P>You know what kinds of things are important to him. Pick up on the little things. I sent notes and cards, but they weren't the "I love you" kind for a long time - he was in love with PT.<P>But he noticed little things...if he stopped by, I "Happened" to be cooking something he loved (ok anything's better than Poptarts and bacon! ). During hunting season I "mentioned" that I had found some great new recipes for game on the web - I HAD! I never got a chance to use them (last year - wait until THIS year), but he was impressed that I took an interest in this hobby!<P>I made him laugh. We couldn't talk about us or love or anything - he was "gone for good", remember? So, I made him laugh. Flirted like crazy. It was little things, all the time and figuring them out worked me to death! Doing them wasn't so much trouble (except holding back the tears!)<P>Even after he came home, he said one night "I'd forgotten how much fun it is to come home to you. This is the best place in the world to be." That was probably one of the nicest compliments I ever had.<P>Keep on trying. You'll come up with things.<P>Luv and hugs,<P>Lori