H left today,he moved in with mother in law, he told her he wants to move in with the guys he works with. But he also told me internet OW was moving here from a different state.<P>Your husband left and returned,so I guess there is hope still.Tell me what happened?Did you stay on plan A all the time?

Beth,<P>Never give up hope. This will take a lot of time. Read my reply to your other post. Get your mind straight become proactive and then go and do the best Plan A possible.<P>Love and Prayers!!!<P>J W

Hi, Beth. Sorry I missed this. Don't have a lot of time online anymore. (Yayyyy!!!! )<P>OK, lemme see if I can do this in a nutshell. We were having a hard time. Mom had cancer, Papa was killed (march 99). Two years of tragedies.<P>June 28, Robert came home and said he didn't love me as much anymore. One week later, in a store, he finally told me about PT. 8/5 he moved out. You know all the emotions and they were as bad for him as they were for me.<P>I didn't know WHERE he was. He didn't call, no financial support, didn't contact his daughter. Didn't hear from him for weeks. Finally started getting a little update from his family. He was living with PT. His sister even called me to tell me that Robert was happy and it was time to move on, leave him and the family alone and let go. But his mom was calling every day. She saw more.<P>He began to call or come by once a month or so in October. Actually came with his brother to help take away a tree the hurricane blew down - ON OUR ANNIVERSARY! I fixed a big meal and since BIL was gonna eat, so did Robert. He still didn't call regularly (not even once a week) and continued to move his stuff out bit by bit when I wasn't home. He opened joint bank accounts with PT, (everyone in the family thought she was preggo - maybe, maybe not, but not now anyway), saw a lawyer about adopting her little one, planned to build a home with her and told me he was filing for divorce as soon as he could afford it. They were gonna get married. It was hell! (Glad I had these guys! )<P>In November by his birthday, I got an inkling that all was not well - although not directly from him! He still wanted a divorce. Never loved me, wished I were dead, you know the drill. Hard to Plan A when you don't see or talk to them!!! I mean I was GREAT when I did, but it wasn't often! (Then, of course, I'd cry my eyes out a bit and go on). So I started my long-distance Plan A by mail!!! <P>Weekly letters, news from home about d, other stuff. Funny, entertaining - just like I'd talk when he was there! NOTHING about us or them - nothing! I'd work HARD on those letters!! End each one with I love you, that's it.<P>I didn't have an address, so I sent them to MIL's and Pop delivered them to his work for me. He never acknowledged them until around December. Called one day to ask me a favor (?????) and said, "Oh, you might as well start sending my letters and stuff here so you don't bother mom with trying to deliver them. I don't have time to see them much anymore." He lived 10 minutes away, but PT was pulling in the reins!!! Cutting him off from me first, then his family and friends. Not a smart move on HER part!<P>So, I did. The first few caused a problem. She'd open and read them first!!! Then she'd steal them before he saw them and throw them away. Mom (MIL) found out - by now she was scheming to get him away from her; she didn't like the person he was becoming! She told him what PT was doing, but he didn't believe her. So I sent copies to Mom's and she'd give him those - delivered to work - she rarely talked to him or saw him anymore.<P>He eventually started calling a bit more, asking for favors (could you do an invoice for me, etc. HE had a computer and knew darned well how to use it!) I always said "sure" and laughed and joked and flirted. Still never talked about us, he'd just say sometime during the conversation, "You know I'm gonna get a divorce." I'd end each conversation with a cheery "I love you". <P>He came over on Christmas Day and actually flirted BACK a bit! He also brought presents. But still - nothing more.<P>One Monday in Jan, I got a note in the mail from him that said "I really believe we'll be better as friends than married." The only mail I rec'd the entire time he was gone. BUT...the very next Saturday, he asked to come home!!! That's the very first time we ever talked about our marriage during the whole mess (except the first week)!!! And that day he said "By the way, thank you for all the cards and letters, they're really sweet." I found out that during all that time, he'd kept them all.<P>He's actually told me since then that he heard a song and it made him think: he had made a committment, he should stick with it, no matter what. And THAT'S why he came home. Who cares?!!! That's not why he's still here. We're doing great! He's happy, I'm happy, Kristin's happy. He compliments me and shows me I'm loved and special every single day, no matter how busy we are. And I try my darndest to do the same. We're both looking forward to the future and having a great time in the present. I don't think we've EVER loved each other this much - not this kind of love! There are little bumps here and there, but I figure, life's full of them anyway! And we handle them soooooooooo much better than before.<P>Now he says we're blessed with a love that can endure anything. NOW he says he's the luckiest man in the world. I KNOW I'm the luckiest woman. NOW he says he's so glad he has me to come home to. NOW he promises he'll be here forever, he can't bear to think of losing me again. And I tell him every day what a wonderful husband he is - 'cause he is!! Big change, huh?<P>Sorry, I'm not at all good with "in a nutshell"!!!! But that's my story. The ending's not written yet, but so far it's happy .....and we're working on making it GREAT!!!<P>So, don't give up,there's always hope. Plan A yourself to death. You're the one that'll reap the rewards, no matter what. 'Cause that's what Plan A is all about, ya know?<P>Love and hugs.<P>Lori