My H left almost three weeks ago and he has spent the night with me a few times. He has been very affectionate and loving. This has been so confusing for me. He stayed over Friday night, but then left first thing Sat.. I tried to call him on his cell Sat afternoon and it was turned off. He usually only turns it off when he is with OW. He has not called me back, but I'm afraid that my message may have been a LB. I was kinda of cold. Should I call him? I also do not know if I should bring it up. I really believe that we would have a chance if OW was not around (i'm sure we all feel that way).My H and OW have been "hanging" aroung together for about a year. H says that they were sexually invovled a few times, but it has stopped, they are just friends (should I believe?). I've known about her for awhile but I did nothing butLBs. Now I'm trying plan A, I'm just not quite sure how to apply it with out pushing him to her. Our sex life has been great!! Should I let it go on? Please respond right away. I don't know when he'll show up and I want to be prepared. Thanks, Odie

I don't think you should keep spending nights with him unless he comes back home for good. He is having everything he wants! Why commit to anyone if he does not have to? I know that you love him and enjoy intimacy with him but I think you should be strong. You can be friendly and tell him that you love him but you really need him as a husband, as a companion, as a loyal friend. Explain to him that it is too painful to continue with the one night stands. Stay firm, be friendly, be funny, be honest. He has to stop his relationship with the other woman if he wants to have you back! I'll be praying for you. My husband never left the house but he went on a week vacation with the OW behind my back (said it was business until I found the pictures). No more unsupervised trips for him!

I agree with WIFEANDMOTHER, let him go figure out what he wants. I know it hurts to think that he was with OW, but what about your feelings? <P>I recently told my H to leave our home, that he could not stay in it and go out and date OW. I will not allow him to disrespect me in my home. He said they've been on a couple of dates with other people, and nothing happened. But, the fact that he wants to continue seeing her, hurt me deeply. <P>I love him, miss him, and I'm very lonely. But, living with him under those other conditions was excruciatingly painful. I cry myself to sleep, I barely eat (dangerously thin), but I have the support of friends to call in the middle of the night. I know I deserve better. I am not going to initiate anything, he will have to. I was doing Plan A, and although sometimes he responded, most of the time he didn't and went off on his own (possibly with OW). I said, "Enough!" <P>He has been nicer, but it's not enough. I want all of him back and willing to work on the relationship, or he can stay where he is. <BR>What do you want for yourself? It's not easy in fact it's downright hard, but you deserve better, too! Keep reading the posts, there are a lot of people in our situation who have come out of the long dark tunnel okay. <P>Be good to yourself and have faith that good things will come to you.