vaforme, <P>I apologize for butting in, but I thought I would toss out a few words of advice. I did read your other thread about your wife's EA possibly going PA; if it hasn't already. <P>The answer to your questions could best be answered by how you would describe your relationship with your wife. <P>Plan A is not just giving unconditional love in the face of adversity, it's not just meeting her emotional needs, it ALSO includes eliminating Love Busters. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Do you think I should tell her that I<BR>will not allow for the two of them to meet??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>You demanding that your wife not meet someone is a love buster. If the affair hasn't turned physical, she will regard your demand as untrusting, unloving, and controling. Keep in mind, crossing that line is a huge decision on anyone's part. People envolved in EAs do not see their relationship as an affair until it does become physical. Your stepping in to stop it, especially if she has emotionally let go of you, will further hinder your reconciliation. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Does plan A include allowing the spouse to continue the affair?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>It must be clear that you do not condone a PA - nobody does. At this point, it sounds like you aren't sure it has gone that far. So, you need to focus on YOUR relationship with your wife not her relationship with someone else. I highly recommend that you live in the same house. Your day-to-day behavior will far out weigh the short time she would have with someone else. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Does plan A mean to continue to show her love and support even though she has not promised to stop seeing the OM?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>You need to give her every reason to choose you. Winning your wife back once she has let go of you emotionally, is by far the most difficult thing you will ever do. You have to Plan in the face of severe rejection. You will be tested beyond measure; more than you ever thought you could handle. Evberyday you will think about giving up - everyday. But, you keep going, because maybe tomorrow will be better. <P>I won't lie to you, this is a journey that very few men are willing to endure. There is no clear path. Heartbrake and depression are constant battles. But, no matter what happens YOU will walk away a better man - guarenteed. Like Texan stated earlier, I, too, could not live with any regrets. <P>I could write volumns from my 18 months of experience, but to summerize it all you need to do two things:<P>1. Be willing to become a new man that is perhaps nothing like you are now. Let God mold you intothe man He already knows your capable of being. <P>2. Put your wife first in your life again and NEVER take her for granted. Get to know her again. Work to become her best friend again. In the process you wiull discover why you fell in love with her and hopefully she will realize she still loves you too. <P>Best wishes, <P>SHA
