I have been married for 15 yrs. two kids who<BR>are my life,own a business and dealing w/an<BR>acholic H, I feel totally drained and have know interest in dealing w/him. I feel I'm not<BR>in love w/him anymore and that feeling doesn't bother me,however i'm thinking that feeling shoul bother me.<BR>I am not sure if a devorce is the way to go because of the kids,so I feel I'm in a no win situation. <BR>At this point I am exsisting w/out him, but am very lonley and unhappy,I think I deserve more out of me life, after all, I'm not the alcholic.<BR>I really do not know what to do,I just know I am not welling to deal with this forever, but I'm not welling to take the chance on loosing my kids in a devorce, that would be enough to make me become an alcholic!!

Welcome <B>readyforchange</B>...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P>A while ago... the "main" forum was divided into 4 separate "sub" forums... and a new one added...<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Just+found+out...&number=29&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>Just found out...</A>...for those new the forum... pre/post "discovery" of an affair or possible affair.<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Plan+A/Plan+B&number=30&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>Plan A/Plan B</A>...usually after "discovery of the affair"...for those with questions of "what to do now?"<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=In+recovery&number=31&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>In recovery</A>...when a commitment to work on marriage by both spouses has begun.<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number=34&SUBMIT=Go" TARGET=_blank>Divorcing/Divorced</A>...when efforts at reconciliation fail or are failing.<BR>We are being asked to post the forums that make the most sense with respect to our questions/vents and not just dump everything into the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=General+Questions&number=28&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>General Questions</A> forum because it will give you the most responses! <P><B>About your post</B>...<BR>You are not alone...<BR>...believe me...<P>There are several W's with alcoholic H's...<BR>...much too common a scenario.<P>We do like to think that people who come here are looking to save their marriages...<BR>...read what you can...<P>If you want to join in with us...<BR>Start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>...and we'll help.<P>A bit more information would be helpful to us...<BR>...see the ===> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>New Roll Call</A> fo the kind of information that gets us going on giving as much help as we can...<P>Hey...<BR>...if you haven't heard it lately...<BR><B>you are loved</B> readyforchange... <B>really</B>!<P> <P>Jim

Hello there.<P>First let me say welcome and I am sorry that you are having such trouble. It is good that you have come here and shared. I have only been here for a short time and i don't know what I would have done without them.<P>I can see that you are hurting. Have you thought about counseling. For yourself first. Then maybe for you and your husband. I might also suggest Al-Anon. I have never been to any meetings, but I hear they do really good work.<P>Good Luck to you

readyforchange,<P>I know how hard it is to live with an alcoholic, my father was one. My H also has several addictions that he is working thru. I started going to Al-A-Non years ago and then moved to ACOA (Adult children of Alcoholics). Both have helped me tremendously. Even with having to deal with the current problems with my H, I haven't sunk so low that I don't feel like there is no way out. I believe what I have learned at those meetings have helped me thru my life. There are a lot of meetings in our neck of the woods. The best thing I can tell you is to get to a meeting or counseling for yourself (also maybe your children). I know this is not fair, you are not the alcoholic. But your H has affected your life in many ways (some you may not even recognize) and it is better to deal with these issues now or they will keep coming back (unfortunately I know this from personal experience). You will learn the tools that you need to survive this situation (whether you stay or leave) and will become a much stronger person. Good Luck.