Advice needed!!!<P>Baby Steps I know but... H stopped at work this am to give me some mail, went to his PO box. We talked for approx. 15 min. No LB's!!! <P>Called me "Baby" ???? times. Said he missed me. Asked about the divorce paperwork. I said I haven't gotten it back yet. I then said "I will not file when I get it, if you want the divorce you file." He asked why I wouldn't file. I said I just wouldn't. He again asked "why won't you file" told him I didn't want to. He said that he wasn't sure if thats what he wanted either.<BR> <BR>Said I looked good and he wished I didn't look so good. I am NOT getting my hopes up, I am looking at this very cautiously, I don't know what he wants. I don't know what I want. I told him he confuses me, which he does. <P>IF he said that he wanted to work things out, I'm not sure what I would do. I don't want a divorce. I don't want to be hurt again either. I'm not sure what's going on but I feel that I MUST get prepared for what I will do etc. This has happened before. I feel dating would be a good thing. I want it over with her of course first. I don't know where he would stay in the mean time. <P>Maybe I am making assumptions but I need to prepare so I am ready do you guys know what I am saying???!!! <P>We would go to counseling for sure. No don't about that. BABY STEPS I know, its a start, It's been over a month since the last time. (Mar 30). <P>PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!!<P>THANK YOU<P>Tracy<P><BR>

It sounds like you had a great conversation, Tracy! Congrats!<P>You keep repeating "Baby steps"--you need to see about getting more great conversations with H before you can move on. Ever drive a car with a standard transmission? You can't get going in 5th gear. Start small.<P>But go ahead and smile about tonight! --HBC

Hi,<P>I really feel for you, I am going through the same things now. Although my ex-H was not having a physical affair, he did share our problems with a woman and became interested in her. When I confronted him with it, he admitted to going out a couples of times with her in a group setting. I was still devastated, and asked him to stop seeing her, but he said he wasn't sure he could. <P>He says he loves me and he's told her that he loves me, but wants to move out and figure out his feelings. He does want to date me and possibly others, but continue to work on our relationship his way. I don't know if I can do it his way.<P>This is so hard, like you he think he is totally confused about what he wants. But, if he were to come back, we'd definitely go to counseling, too. How long have you been separated? Make sure it is over with the other woman before you consider taking him back. It has to be you and just you in his life and then work from there. As you said, you've been hurt and understandably want to be cautious. I feel the same way!<P>Hoped this helped.<P>

Troublec,<BR> Sounds GREAT!! EXPECT THE BEST but PREPARE FOR THE WORST. This is the betrayed's creed!!<BR> They waffle back and forth and if he get's "PULLED BACK" and says something negative it will take you off guard and you'll LOVE BUST like MAD!! <BR> It's a rollercoaster ride, strap in and wear a helmet!!<BR> I think this sounds great BUT please be careful not to EXPECT to much too soon. I'll be praying HARD for you guys GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK<P>------------------<BR>desperate<BR>"If yesterday didn't stop today, Why should TODAY stop tomorrow??" <BR>"Wisdom is why!!"<P>