I have read people talk about withdrawl symptoms from an affair and I was wondering what they were. I don't think my wife has given up on her OM.

Wait a minute, I'm confused. On your other post you mentioned your wife having a one night stand and regreting it. What would make you think she's having withdrawl symptoms from that? Then you mentioned an ex in your post. Is that who your referring too? Ex boyfriend or ex husband?

It was a one night stand with an ex boyfriend she had been contacting for 6 months and hiding it from me. So I was wondering what are withdrawl symptoms (in her case from the ex boyfriend) that people are talking about?

Sorry - you are unwilling to communicate with me any other way so I cannot keep from posting to your posts.<P>Like I said in the previous thread, I am newbie's wife and feel a need to give additional info.<P>There was a time about 6mos. ago that my H BEGGED me to contact this ex of mine for something that he wanted. I literally had to track the guy down through his parents since I didn't know where on earth he was. Where my H and I differ is that I don't just USE people for something they have that I want. After I asked my ex to help me out, we continued talking on and off for the next few months. Nothing special, just "what's up?" etc... in the last month or two (a little before and during the time that H moved out and papers were filed) we spoke more often and about more personal issues. In the end this led to my experience with him which I HAVE apologized for.<P>YOU on the other hand apologize for nothing that led up to our decision to divorce (oh except for the cursory ones that immediately end in "but I never did THIS or THAT!! Look at what YOU did!!" and insist on victimizing yourself. You make it virtually impossible for me to feel remorse because you dismiss everything else BUT this. You act as if I am a person of loose morals, etc... when it is simply not true. You accuse me of not trying to help our marriage and at the same time won't admit that the ONLY thing that will help you is for me to grovel. Until you truly admit the problems you caused and can talk about them and apologize for them without immediately detailing how much greater your pain is than mine I will not be able to give you what you want.

I apologize to everyone - I will try to take this stuff to off board.

I wanted to get back to this post...<P><B>thenewbie</B> and <B>Monen</B>...<P>We love and respect you both...<BR>...now is the time for you two to think of doing the same thing!<P>If coming to the "forum" brings out the worst in both of you... don't come to the forum!<BR><B>Don't leave Marriage Builders</B>...<BR>...but make an agreement to not <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Bust</A> here!<P>Do check out all of the other MB sites (there are many pages of load of great information) as <B>HurtButCoping</B> pointed out in thenewbie's other post!<P>I also have a geneal welcome message...It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders</A>.<P>I can see the hurt in both of you...<BR>...and retaliation is going to make it worse!<P>You're both on this forum...<BR>...so it is clear you are both interested on working on your marriage...<P>I would recommend that you start with some <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7200_phone.html" TARGET=_blank>telephone counseling sessions</A> ($85US a pop... but well worth it) with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7010_about.html" TARGET=_blank>Steven W. Harley</A> or Jennifer Harley. Check out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counseling Center</A>... and for some specifics... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7015_fee.html" TARGET=_blank>Fees for Counseling Services</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7020_sched.html" TARGET=_blank>Scheduling an Appointment</A>!<P>It will give you a better focus!<P> <P>Jim

thenewbie and Monen - PLEASE...<P>Put down your weapons. Stop hrting each other long enough to seek help from a third party. Do as NSR suggested. Or find a local counselor. <P>In either case, agree to a temporary cease fire to avoid causing additional damage.<P><P>------------------<BR>But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.<BR>Galatians 5:22-23