Well I think the OW finally got the message not to call our house. But now I am wondering if this is because my H is calling her from a nearby payphone. A friend of ours saw him using the phone and I found a bunch of change in his truck.<P>I want to believe that he isn't still seeing her but he really hasn't given me any reason to trust him again. He was gone for two days last weekend which just happened to be her weekend off work. With this new schedule of him working 6pm-4am I don't see that much of him only for about and hour in the morning. We don't really say that much to each other just chat a bit I go to work and he goes to bed.<P>I am trying not to ask him about the OW because it makes him mad. I am going to another Alanon meeting tonight for support with his drinking problem. I am going to ask if I should tell him I am attending meetings or just not say a thing. <P>He does seem a bit more open to talking since he has been working nights but the limited time we see each other might be the reason. We don't have time to get into any arguments or in depth discussions.<P>He did get a letter from his lawyer and I haven't give it to him yet. I am afraid of what he might do and wish I could be there when he opens it. Maybe I should keep it till Saturday and then give it to him. It came yesterday. He hasn't seemed in any hurry to respond to his lawyers last letter so a couple of extra days that he doesn't see this one shouldn't hurt should it?????<P>I am just afraid if things are going pretty good that this might send him to the OW. It asks for his net worth statement again and also asks him not to have the OW call or visit the house like she has done in the past.

bc,<P>This may not be what you want to hear, but in regards to the letter, I think you really should give it to him. You want him to be honest with you, you have to be honest with him. I'm not saying it's easy to do, but it's the right thing. <P>I think it's wonderful about you going to the meetings. Having all the support you can get will be a huge help. <P>I know how you must feel about H calling OW from a payphone. When I first found out about affair, H would call OW from the house until I asked him not to. He would then come home from work, eat, and go down the street and call OW. This sounds crazy, but part of me liked the fact that it wasn't convient for him to call her. Keep plan Aing, and working on getting yourself stronger. <P>I'll be thinking of you.<P>------------------<BR>You can't live with them, you can't kill them!<BR>Viki

Viki,<P>I do plan on giving him the letter. I already know what it says because I was the one who called my lawyer and that is what precipitated the letter from his lawyer. I did this a couple weeks ago when I found out that the OW had come to my house. My H knows how I felt about that.<P>I guess I will just give it to him and if he is angry then I will have to deal with it. He really shouldn't be angry because it is only asking him to fill out his net worth statement and also telling him that having the OW call or visit the house doesn't make things any easier. If my H is calling the OW from a payphone it is inconvienient and costs him money because it is a long distance call from our area. That makes it a double whammie. And from past calls I think she likes to talk alot so it probably isn't cheap.<P>I am going to another meeting tonight and hopefully will come out of it feeling better about things. My counselor told me that with alcohol being involved that my H really can't make a good decision on what to do. She said that his relationship with the OW(who also drinks) is very unhealthy and most likely will only lead to a bad outcome. She said that if he really wanted this divorce that he would be hurrying things along and he isn't at all. She said that in a lot of the cases when the spouse starts changing for the better (meaning me and working on myself esteem etc.) that many times the WS sees this person in a completely different light and is able to change for the better too.<P>So I think I will give him the letter but explain that I felt compelled to do something with the OW calling and being at the house but that I hope he won't be angry and that I love him.