Would like to hear from those that have done the phone counseling with Dr. Harly. I have read his books and I go for counseling on my own. <P>Just not sure when only one spouse seems to want the marriage to work and the other is so caught up in other person that they are convinced its love how can I compete? What there to save?<P>Is it worth it to go to all this counseling? My regular counselor is quite expensive. I would really love to have the opportunity to talk to Dr. Harly but I guess I just want to make sure it would be money well spent!!! <P>Does insurance cover phone counseling?

Missy, Yes, yes, yes!!!!! I think the phone counseling with S.Harley was THE ONE thing that kept me going. He can hear your story and give YOU a plan of action. It truly helped me, and as you know, my story....cosmic connection is similar to you. <P>I do think you have hope. I am saddened to hear about his family though. I think I have gotton my H's family to take a stand.<P>My MIL reads Dr. Laura. She is in agreement that what is wrong with our society today is that everyone just gets up and says...well, whatever makes you happy!!!<P>Now, will that change my H. maybe not, but I am glad that his family (although they will support him as a human being and as their son and brother) continue to tell him that they disagree with what he is doing.<P>My H is visiting two of his brothers this weekend for the first time since Christmas, at which time he told me "I was never close to my family"....what a lie.....<P>Call him, call him, call him. It is worth it. He really explains the addiction part so well. He will reallly help you understand what is going on with your H. <P>I shared a lot of the info with my H's family. His sister thought we should have a joint family session with him, so he could help them understand H.<P>I know it is expensive. Believe me, the amount of therapy I'm paying for....betweeen counselors, Harley, my phone bills in the thick of it were $500!!!! (all of his family is out of state) But it got me through it. <P>Missy, he may really have some ideas of how to wake him up......I still think you have to do something that he doesn't think you would do...like really get on with your life. Let him know you want to work on your marrainge,, but if he doesn';t, this is NOT what you want for you or your children!!!!!!<P>I know I don't. I will not enable my H to have the best of both worlds!!!! He's going to have to choose and work on his choice. I know I will do OK. <BR>Call!!!!!!!

Goodmorning missy9:<P>Have been counselling with Steve for quite a number of sessions. Some have been slow and not much progress but other times have been very directive and benefitial. Compared to 4 other face to face counsellors tried over the past years his advice is the most down to earth and usable. <P>Give him a try for a few and see how you relate. Seems a little strange talking to someone without seeing his face and reactions but soon becomes quite comfortable. The pauses from Steve during the sessions are when he is writing his notes.<P>My S had a many year affair, divorced me, had OP move in and then finally woke from her fantasy, kicked the OP out after a 3 year relationship. We're now a couple of years into recovery and still many problems to be solved but life together is much better than at any time of our marriage. Both of us have accepted our part in marriage problems. S acknowledges that only S is resoponsible for the affair - it was their very bad choice.<P>As noted many times on the forums 80% of affairs end when the realities of life become evident to the affair partners. Less than 20% of affairs end with affair partners marrying and a huge percentage of these marriages end in divorce.<P>Working on yourself at the same time working toward rebuilding your marriage is a must. If rebuilding your marriage is not to be at least you've learned a lot about yourself that will help you get on with a good life.<P>Always remember:<BR>1) You are a good person<BR>2) There is life after the death of a marriage<BR>3) Ressorection can happen in a marriage (even in a dissolved marriage) as well as in the bible<BR>4) Your not alone in this even though each one of us in our depths of dispair feel we're unique and isolated. <P>There's lots of good advice on the forum and Steve can help you with the problems you can't see any solutions to.<P>Good luck, hang in and God bless

Missy9,<P>Ditto to the others expieriense.<P>Steve gave me a plan and was a good coach. He doesn't have a crystal ball but his experience gave me many insights I was looking for.<P>It was well worth the $85.00 U.S. per session fee<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Thanks, I think i will give it a try..