On Friday I stopped by my h new apt to see if he wanted to go to the beach with me and the kids. I sent the boys up to get him and while they were gone H and ow came out of the building and got in his car. I walked up to the car, told him where the kids were, she jumped out and verrrry quickly got in her car and drove away. <P>I was devastated. He told me he would not resume a relationship with her when he moved out. Now I have no trust and for all I know the affair never ended and he's been lying for the last seven months. <P>I was so obsessed with that scene running through my head that I put my children on a plane at 6:30 AM and flew 2000 mi. away. <P>My h picked us up from the airport last night. He was here tonight and we all went shopping for school supplies. He went to bed with the kids and just left about 1/2 hour ago. <P>Anyways, this is my big realization; she was the one who had to run away in shame and guilt not me!!! I had every right to be there. He never told me not to come by. I'm not sure why but for some reason that helps me cope with it. He is my husband, the father of my children and she had no right to be there. She had to run not me. I was very calm. I didn't chase her. I didn't scream obscenities at her. I'm very proud of myself even if I did lose it 12 hours later.<P>

And ya know...another thought. Sounds like he didn't try very hard to stop her when she left either. That will eat at her when SHE remembers.<P>You're right. Hold your head up high!<P>------------------<BR>Laura<P>"I cannot care a little for you. I love you only just enough to love you all the way."~~Rod McKuen<BR>

he never stopped seeing her...it will have to run its course or you have to go 2000 miles away...<BR>her running...she'll say she 'did it for him'..to not cause him unpleasentness or discomfort....<BR>sorry for the downer....i'm very down today myself...<P>------------------<BR>Kellie<BR>Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough<P>

Hoping,<BR>Congratulations on keeping your dignity. And remember, gutting her like a deer is WRONG. <P>I keep that on a notecard, just so I remember. I'm so easily confused...<P>Kel,<BR>Sorry you're so down. I believed my H for 7 months too (well, actually for 15 months, with a confession in the middle, but who's counting?) It just isn't good for one's self-esteem, especially when you were trying to do what was RIGHT.