Dear friends: I started to post something different, but changed my mind due to fear. I was ok today until I looked at myself in the mirror and I saw ugliness. I am trying to keep myself in check but it's hard. My head is being unreasonable. I want so bad to call OM for some kind words because my spouse won't offer them even if I tried. I plan to go home early this evening. Now if I can keep myself from picking up the phone and dialing "O" for OM. Thanks for listening. I will not look at anymore mirrors today.

Rose, Sweetie.<BR>You are NOT ugly....I do think I understand what you are saying...I hate it when someone tells me I am beautiful/look nice and all I can think about is how ugly I feel on the inside. How ugly everything I have done to hurt people in my life really is. I hear what they say and think "You don't see the real me"<P>Stay strong Rose, I know you can do this. Grab your dd and go do something or go do something for you...a walk, shopping etc. <P>I believe in you Rose, and I read your posts and know you are a beautiful person inside and out, no matter what you see reflected in the mirror.<P>Know that contacting him will make you feel better in the short term but is it fair to him? is it fair to you? etc etc etc. you know all the pep talks. <P>hugs Rose!!!<P>Cat

Rose...<P>You are beautiful inside and out...<P>You always will be!<P>Don't rely on others to define that beauty...<BR>...and if your H can't complement you...<BR>...take it from us who know your real beauty!<P>Anyone who is here... has beauty of heart!<P> <P>Jim

Come on hon! There are a lot of us going through that right now... hang in there! I agree with Cat... get out.... find something fun to do... keep busy... You know how to do it..<P>I know you are a beautiful lady... inside and out....<P>Hugs...

Rose...remember you can contact me any time...for some stiff moral support. I am 100% sure you are not ugly...you have a beautiful soul, and if your H doesn't see that you need to tell him. Sometimes we are our worst enemies. The OM made you feel good. Write me Rose!!!!<P>S.

Dear friends: Just an update. I did not contact OM after all. I went home and did the family thing. This past weekend was stressful but turned out ok. I rode my motorcycle to my nieces graduation (50 miles), kiddies had dinner brought in, plus homemade cake and roses and had a nice time at my cousin's grad party eating breaded asparagas and drinking rum punch. She had more to eat than that, but I love asparagas and of course the rum punch was great.<BR>My spouse was being cold and unfeeling when I tried to talk to him this Saturday about my feelings and our marriage. Oh well. I should have known. He did, however, give me a long hug this morning before I left for work. Go figure. <BR>This weekend(I am ready!) I plan to spend Friday evening cleaning my dust bunny of a home, eat Taco Bell and drink cerveza. Strategic Plan #1 for healthy living: To do my best to keep my mind positive and in good spirits. My love and prayers to you all.

Missed the beginning but I'm here now.<P>Sweetie, I am constantly amazed at how much you are growing each and every time we hear from you! I've looked over some of your older posts through the months - You should be very VERY proud of yourself!!<P>Just popped in to let you know that I love you too, and think about you often. Next time you look into that mirror, hopefully you'll see the beautiful person that WE all see.<P>Love and prayers,<P>Lori

Rose,<P>(((((ROSE)))))<BR>Lori is right. We see an amazingly strong and beautiful woman!! You have come so far and I am extremely proud of you. <P>It's Tuesday, so just think, only 3 days until the weekend! Stuff yourself on Taco Bell and just enjoy the sunshine. Look at the flowers and how beautiful they are. <P>Love to you,<BR>Mitzi