I´ve practicing Plan A for a month and I´m desperated, seems nothing works with him . Is really possible he is in areal big depression ?

Claudia, I am sure anything is possible at this point. Yes, it could be depression. ANd hasn't your H had a history with relationship difficulties???<P><BR>If you want to work on your marraige, you have to keep on plan a. I have been doing it for 4 months....I saw some progress, actually a lot of progress. Now the OP has moved out...sick of my H procrastination...now he has to finally admit he is having an affair....or I guess he can still pretend...since they aren't actually living together. I backslid unfortunatly......<P><BR>But keep plan Aing..It seems that it works. Post on the recovery board and ask for success stories.

Claudia,<P>It's so hard to understand sometimes...<P>when the pain is fresh...<BR>when the hurt is so deep...<P>Plan A is for you... not just for your spouse!<P>For you to become the best spouse you can possibly be.<P>Statistics are just not relevant...<BR>...if you become better... that's what counts. You are the main statistic for you!<P>I'm praying for your revelation... to this idea of what it means to succeed in Plan A...<BR>It took me about 3 months...<P>...and His will... will be done.<P>I don't mean to diminish your pain in anyway...<BR>It is crushing... it is devastating...<BR>It seems endless...<BR>I've been there...<P>...there may come the day ... when he has his own fog lift!<BR>...accepting it is not in your control...<BR>...but being ready... if/when it does... will make all the difference in the world.<P> <P>Jim

Dear Jim:<P>Thanks a lot for you support, I know... I Know... Actually it´s the first time in my life I use Plan A which I learned here. Usually, in the past, in other relashionships I always blow them off being impatient, pushing and demanding.<BR>This time it´s different, I´m 38 and trying to save my 6 years marriage. We have no kids and he´s 46.<BR>There is no OW. He´s very depressed and the 3 times we had a chance to talk he keeps saying he does not love me anymore and in his past 4 marriages this sensation always happen, something inside him rings and give him some sign that it´s time to get out. He did once with 23 yo, second time with 27, third time with 35 after two kids, than 36 and now with me, at 46 yo. For the last 5 years he was on therapy and imporved a lot. Yesterday he told me that he will not get back on theraphy because he does not trust the doctor anymore !!!<P>I´m the first woman he married in paper and inside him. He changed a lot. But now seems he can´t handle more than this. We are totally independent finantially, we both are executives on multinational companies, we have/had a great marriage, lots of friendship, we appreciate the same places to travel, we travel a lot, we had great sex, practice same sports together, and I get along with his two kids (11 and 16).<BR>Can you imagine how I´m feeling ??? On May first he left home and said it was for good because he couldn´t stand not tell me the truth that he does not love me anymore. He´s gone, I have no idea where he is right now, if something happen to me during the night for example, I have to call for my parents (70 and 78 years old).<BR>I´m so sad, I´ve beeing praying so much and crying a lot, sometimes I spend all night crying.<BR> <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>Claudia,<P>It's so hard to understand sometimes...<P>when the pain is fresh...<BR>when the hurt is so deep...<P>Plan A is for you... not just for your spouse!<P>For you to become the best spouse you can possibly be.<P>Statistics are just not relevant...<BR>...if you become better... that's what counts. You are the main statistic for you!<P>I'm praying for your revelation... to this idea of what it means to succeed in Plan A...<BR>It took me about 3 months...<P>...and His will... will be done.<P>I don't mean to diminish your pain in anyway...<BR>It is crushing... it is devastating...<BR>It seems endless...<BR>I've been there...<P>...there may come the day ... when he has his own fog lift!<BR>...accepting it is not in your control...<BR>...but being ready... if/when it does... will make all the difference in the world.<P> <P>Jim</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><p>[This message has been edited by Claudia (edited May 20, 2000).]

Claudia,<P>I'm so sorry...<BR>...I think I know how you feel...<P>Doing the right things...<BR>Following the MB principles...<BR>and not seeing any results...<BR>...<B>is</B> something I am very familiar with.<P>I pray your H gets back to therapy...<P>I pray for you too!<P>Your tears are not wasted...<BR>...up above they are seen and felt...<BR>...knowing what that leads to, for us, is the hard part.<P>Claudia...<BR>...I think you've missed this...<P><B>You are loved</B>...<P>...by so many here...<BR>...by Him above...<P>Keep the faith...<P> <P>Jim