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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 70
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OP
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 70 |
I really do try. My mind comes up with all kinds of crap to slam my wife with. I stop myself from saying alot of them but not all. But some do get away and now my wife won't believe me when I say that I am trying to not LB. Anyone have any suggestions or hints or anything. I dearly love my wife but my hurt activates my self defense and I am (verbally) aggressive when I am defending myself or the ones I love. This is causing our willingness to put effort into resolutions/healing to wane.
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406 |
thenewbie,<P>I always liked scanman's approach... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000008.html" TARGET=_blank>Using a "filter" to not LB</A>...<P>and the others on my <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000013.html" TARGET=_blank>Notable Posts/Threads</A> post in the <B>"Reduce/Eliminate Love Busters:"</B> section.<P> ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>Jim
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 72
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 72 |
Read the post right underneath yours...<P>"Is it a LB to admit you're depressed?"<P>There's info on how to stop or significantly reduce the number of LB's.
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 307
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 307 |
I would imagine the question here would be..what exactly is a love buster? I think there are somethings that are universal...and some things that depending on the person you said it to, would determine how love busting it really is. My H sits back and wonders why my anger and resentment have piled up so high, the roof is lifted. I think any kind of threat is a love buster. My H likes to deliver ultimatums on a regular basis....either I stop this divorce or war is declared or he will ruin me...he will take my children away. I think these are all love busters. Would I find being sad or unhappy a love buster? NO. Depending on the situation...emotions sometimes can't be monitored. What I find the top notch love buster is when your wishes and needs are not respected...but exploited. Invading someone's else's privacy is a definite love buster and so is accusing your spouse of something before you know it to be true. I'm sure everyone has there own list, but for me....these particular LB's make me crazy and only add to an increasing amount of resentment.<P><BR>
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