Okay, this is really hard because I just don't feel ANYTHING. I believe, like you have all said, that the feelings are still there somewhere. I've tried to tap into those, but<BR> <whew> it's just numb, numb, numb. <P> If this is not sweet or loving or inviting enough, please help. I don't want to make him run in the other direction!<P> Dear Love of my Life,<P> I know it hasn't seemed like it for a long time, but I still think of you as the love of my life. No one has been to me what you have been. All my dreams and fantasies ended with visions of you and me happily spending our golden years together. Never did I imagine a day without you. So, it's strange that we find ourselves here.<P> I know that I have been in a fog of numbness, not knowing what you felt, what was going on in your world, or how to fix it. We both created an environment where we were just so out of touch with each other. How could this happen to us when we were so in love?<P> In the time that we've been separated, I have worked to discover the truth in the things you complained about and tried to see your side of things. If you look, you will see I've done a lot to become more positive. (do I need examples here?) I am still discovering how I let you down and ways to make sure that I never let down my partner again. Realizing how deeply I have hurt you has damaged me terribly. Your pain is my pain. All I have ever wanted was to love you.<P> I've tried to show you that I still love and support you despite the affairs. I have given all I knew how to give. I tried to show you I accepted all the pain and your humanity so that we could have a happy future together. I don't know what else I could have done to show you that you can trust me with your feelings, your past, and your mistakes. I love you unconditionally. That means with all of your frailities.<P> However, this latest revelation involving ....... has been the most hurtful thing yet because of its duration, the lies told to cover it up, and because you are still there. I feel it is our best interest now to withdraw from this relationship before every ounce of love is sucked from my body. <P> You spoke of reconciliation someday. If that is to ever be possible, I have to protect<BR>what love still resides in me by having absolutely no contact with you. Being near is<BR>simply too painful as long as you are with her. <P> I know I have said in the past that I wanted no contact. I know I have done things to provoke distance from you. Please respect my request and do not contact me now. I fear if we keep going on this merry-go-round, we will end up losing our precious good memories of each other. That would be far more hurtful than anything that has passed so far.<P> If you should find yourself missing me, willing to work on finding the people we were, and still in love with me, I am here and willing to meet you half way- as long as ...... is gone.<P> Know that I will always love you. I have already forgiven you, and I wish you well no matter what path you chose to travel.
