Just wanted some advice. Ive been reading through the latest threads today trying to find a similar situation (its sad how they all are similar in ways) but nothing is really helping so here goes. I need to rant. (i posted this in divorcing/divorced too)<P>H races on the weekends and I used to be his "sidekick". In Sept I had our first child, in Nov he moved out to pursue his EA which resulted in a pregnancy. OW is due in Oct. I am divorcing H (filed before I knew about PA) and am trying for legal custody. H has asked me to bring our son to the races on the days OW is not there (NOT!!!!) I said no thanks. H still thinks we should not D while he is involved with OW because he doesnt want our marrige to end yet (???). H asked if our son can be at the races with him this weekend but I do not want OW around him until D is final ...I hate how she treats her own child (6yrs old, different dad, never married, OW's 21 - H is 35). H did offer for his mom to watch our son at the racetrack (all my inlaws think H is screwed up right now and do not like OW and arent yet claiming OC) Anyway, I don't want to be a control freak with my child. I do want to protect him from OW . After the Divorce, I won't have a voice in what H does with our child when he's with H. I am a Christian, H claims it when convienient but even the pastor who married us told me he thinks H "got saved" when I did so I would marry him. I want our child to know Jesus, right from wrong, etc...but H will probably live with OW and have our son involved in his lifestyle. H took OW to Florida with 3 other couples a week ago which cemented my desire to proceed with the divorce. My love for H is almost dead but he knows how to disturb my peace by calling at the last minute to ask for our son, by asking me to change our plans for him. Whew. My real question...how easy is it to allow OW into your childs life. Do I do what I think is best for my child this weekend or give into his dad for daddys ego Our son is only 8 months old and I dont think the racetrack is the place for a baby (unless his mommy is also there and the OW is out of the picture ). Help??<P>up until this morning when I said no to the races, i have been plan A ing very well (he said i said no to punish him)<P>Thanks<BR>Kris

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sad In St Louis:<BR><B> Do I do what I think is best for my child this weekend or give into his dad for daddys ego Our son is only 8 months old and I dont think the racetrack is the place for a baby (unless his mommy is also there and the OW is out of the picture ). Help??</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I think 8 months old is REALLY TOO YOUNG for him to be there without his mother or grandmother. I also agree with you to keep this OW out of his life (even though he is too young to know what is going on) until it is beyond your legal control. Kids do not need to be dragged into this. If parents can't make responsible, moral decisions and act as decent role models for their children while they are going through this, they don't deserve to parent them then. Period. It's hell that they put us through this crap, but I'll be D****** if any man is going to upset my child's life with his juvenile antics. If it is within my control to stop it, I would.<P>I like to think that a child is better off with both parents no matter if they are married or separated, but the best interest of the child is sometimes for them not to witness the ugly side of their parents. If I can protect them from that, I would.

Dear friend: Enjoy the weekend with your child. Take him to MCDonalds even if he only eats the fries or babyfood. Just you and him. I agree that the track is no place for a baby and OW should understand that. She should also understand your feelings. I am OW and I could not expect his wife or his kids to just accept me with open arms. That's ridiculus. And if I know my kids, the OM doesn't have a chance in hell. <BR>So enjoy your weekend. Take him to the zoo or a fun place for kids. Give yourself a break as well. Have a great weekend!

the decibals of noise at a racetrack are far too high for a child so young...<P>8 months is seriously too young....<P>hearing damage could ensue....<P>the fumes are noxious....<P>germs from the ow could be spreading...lol..<P><BR>ask your pediatrician....get his opinion in writing if it helps with your H...<P><BR>Dylan<P>------------------<BR>"The journey into darkness has been long and cruel, and you have gone deep into it."<BR>~ A Course in Miracles

Popeye,<BR> Thanks for your input. I do want to protect my son from his fathers actions...I hate saying that because I would love his father to be someone to admire - he is in many was but a "little yeast spoils the whole loaf" if I may take a bible verse out of context. Maybe he will be by the time our son is old enough to understand.. that is my prayer.<P>Rose, <BR>I thank you for your perspective. H OW is very young and immature, she doesnt understand why I dont like her and Im sure she would gush all over me about the baby she is carrying if I saw her in person. I am hearing that H friends thinks he's nuts too and do not like her either, she has NO boundries with her conversations (or anything else it seems) (((sigh))). I think I may take my baby to the zoo on Sunday...thanks. I do admire your intent to let go of the OM. My prayers are that you are sucessful.<P><BR>Dylan<BR>Thanks for your input. I think her germs may cause a horrible case of....something... . I know the noise level is too high at the track, I reminded H especially since our son has a chronic ear infection and hearing problems could (prayerfully not) occur. H is more interested in himself and bringing his beautiful, adorable child to the track to "show him off" than in his saftey IMHO. I may be forced to consult with an EN&T specialist if he pushes the issue this year. I would hate having the courts decide for us though. I already cringe knowing once we divorce, our child becomes a "ward" of the state. Blech...I hate my H when I think of that.<P>Have a great Memorial Day Weekend everyone!!!!<BR>Kris