In my first month of separataion aft 1 yr from discovery of Plan Aing my heart out.<P>I did Plan A very well but OW found herself a lover and made sure H found out. It was all over, back to square one aft 1 yr of hard work Plan A'ing.<P>Now what ... he calls, we talk, I cry and tell him I miss him and he the same. What the hell is this, the same torture but done remotely? He saying the same things, done working on the marriage etc, but his actions are hugging me, missing me, asking me if I want to get together, jeez!<P>I consider myself still in Plan A, haven't come to moving to Plan B yet and may not for a while.<P>The OW is so jealous of me and insecure about him and I still talking and seeing one another, think I'll wait around while her jealousy slowly chips away and hopefully eventually depletes his Love Bank. He cannot stand jealousy. I don't believe her degree of jealousy is tied to real love, I think it's more of a possession thing. Very primal and sex related. I had ths pager PIN for that yr and heard all her voice pages, man talking about one sleazy nimpho. She manipulated and played him like a violin using sex. <P>You guys think it'll last?<P>-Jo<P>

Josey,<BR> Of course it won't last. But the question is will you still want him when its over?<BR> I posted to you on the A/B board about Ca.<BR> Read some of Lovsas posts telling her story and how she plan Aed long distance while her H was living with OW. It will inspire you.<BR>Lora

Hi Josey:<P>Sounds like you and I have alot in common. My h is also living with OW and she is a total nymphomaniac. We were in recovery for about 4 months and she went out and got breast implants. Well thats all my h needed to hear and off he went again. <P>Makes me sick. I too have been starting to do Plan A. Only, its makes the OW very jealous and insecure. That in turn makes my h act very cold toward me and he will barely speak or look at me anymore. I think he is afraid of losing her if he is nice to me. <P>I don't think this will last for either of our husbands. IT sounds like the jealously will eventually wear them down. I think in the beginning they (H) like it because they use it aa a measure of how much the OW loves them. But, how long can that continue?? Especially when you have kids together...<P>I am afraid that when he does come to his senses that I will no longer feel love for him. I think I am close to the Plan B. Althougth that is very tough because I need to see him at my kids games.. Dr H. told me I just can't do that. I think that is unfair to my kids if I can't go to their games. He tell me that he loves me but he is not in love with me. That would all need to come back in time.<P>Just know you are not alone... Keep me posted on your progress. I'll do the same for you,,,

Missy9,<P>Thanks for sharing. Too weird my H's OW has breats implants too. Unfortunelty she is the mother of my H's son. Happened almost 9 years ago, truly a one night stand. At that time my H sd she burned him by getting pregnant diliberatly. H did not wnat to participate in son's life, and just started to 1.5 yrs ago. The beginning of the end.<P>Now OW uses her son, sex and guilt to manipulate my H. Guilt is when she says "you weren't there for the first 7 yrs of his life because of HER (me)" He is so not smart. Doesn't see her agenda. Just sees the sex.<P>Man, the things she left on his pager voicemail. All sex and kinky stuff I didn't know about until I asked ppl. She is really desperate to have him and very aggresive about it. What kind of person calls a W (me) without ever meeting me or knowing me and says horrible things to me, all while I'm going thru cancer treatments. She's unbelievable. I was dumb founded by it all.<P>She told him how jealous she was about his love for me and that she would not withhold sex from him because she knew thats what I wanted. My H had no idea I was listening to all her pages. H would stop by her house in the middle of the afternoon and "do it" then immediately leave to come home and eat dinner. She'd page him while he was on route and tell him she wasn't ready for him to leave just yet. She'd tell him how much trouble he was but that she loved him anyway. <P>Most of the time I couldn't believe my ears, was sure she was talking to someone else and not MY H. I'd have my girlfriend listen to pages and she was horrified as well. But I did that because I just couldn't believe the sleazy stuff she was saying. Guess I wanted a witness. I also taped all the pages.<P>I worry all the time that because she has his son and my H and I have no children, that'll he'll stay with her and build a family. But then I think because she is so jealous and controlling that he'll get sick of it. I also hope that th passion and lust will die down and he'll then have to see what it's like w/her as a "pseudo-wife" instead of this sex thing she's been. I pray he'll get disgusted and make her go away. But she being the mother of his son will make a break that much harder, that poor little boy.<P>-Jo<P>