The kids and I are in limbo. My H seems to have calmed down to the point of still doing as he pleases...spending a lot of time with the kids...but on his terms.....and yet, not wanting to be accountable for whatever he does...or discuss the marraige and where we are going....<P>As far as OW....he denies it to me and his family....seems he still is wondering....although I can't imagine why she is such a flake.....But, she managed to manipulate him very well and is perpetuating this view he has of himself ....narcissitic....self important....work and she defining him.<P>My kids just don't get it....the party last night was the last straw. I can't keep letting this happen to them.. THey can't be kids anymore. They can't just play outside and take for granted that mom and dad are there for them....mom is here,,,,dad is when he wants to be.<P>I am having a hard time as well...for me...I am going to have to detach myself physically. It is very hard for me to see him...I look up and feel the warm feelings I have always felt for him......last night at the party..I looked up and wondered what was so wrong in our relationship that he could walk out on three kids....and completely deny what his life was like.<P>I am feeling that me and the kids just didn't treat him "special" enough. We didn't treat him like a god...I'm not sure I can do that anyway...IF he wants his validation via his work and coworkers.....well that's his choice.<P>Anyway, do you think I need to get all of this in a separation agreement.....(more concrete visitation?)Or do you think I can just spell it out. Currently, I do not want to be friends with this man...If the other man returns I will...but I cann;t continue being freinds with a man who wants OW as his best friend....since she has treated me and his children so disrespectfully.<P>I know he won't give me any difficulty with money at this time....he is really into the monk style living....(he doensn't need allthe trappings of society)..He acts like the kids and I are the capitalist enemy. Op is appealing to his altruistic side...making him feel like she can show him the way to do great things for people.<P>I just want to get a more consistant visitation agreement. My kids wonder when their dad will come and if he comes for how long, and if he doesn't come why not!!!!<P>I plan to do this in a nice way...I am not trying to make him do anything. I just need to protect my emotions and the emotions of my children.<P>I will remind you that he has yet to say anything......even in counseling he cannot come up with anything...If you ask me he just likes it as it is.......with me and the kids here so he can be a part of a family and going to work where he can feel really important. <P>What types of agreements do you have???????Do they all have to be done via a lawyer???
