Ok, you guys already know my story about my h e-mail friendship with a co-worker who left and moved to a new job....how I found out they were still in contact after she left and he was telling me they weren't and I found the emails about getting together and having lunch. Of course..I was in the hospital for a week with preterm labour after I found out because I got so upset. Am at home now on bed rest and guess what? found another email at a new email adress..although I didn't print it and now he says it was from 2 months ago. Now, I am questioning, is the date the date I really remember? Or is he confusing me and making me think it was from 2 months ago? I'm so confused because I know that I would not have gotten upset about it if it was from 2 months ago!! The email said something about her "not being very good at goodbyes either.." I asked why she had THAT email address and he said he emailed her from there once. Also, it conveniently dissappeared immediately after I questioned him about them being in contact with each other again and he says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Well, if it had been sitting there for 2 months, why would it have suddenly dissappeared?<P>Well, my baby will be here on the 12th and I would like to concentrate on his arrival and my health. My h has been soooo good to me in so many other ways, cleaning house, cooking, being affectionate...is all of this a cover for his continued contact with this woman? <P>And anyway what kind of marriage can we have based on no trust and no honesty? Because right now, I don't trust him at all and I told him so. He says he doesn't blame me! He's even being "good" about that! He says he doesn't like my snooping but he understands it and he's not mad at me about it. I don't understand this behavior at all!

(((Windy))):<P>I know where you're coming from; my H has internet trouble, too. <P>It could very well be that the e-mail disappeared because your H was embarrassed. My H erased all of his more from embarrassment than anything else, I think.<P>It is also possible that your H isn't doing too well in his promises right now. My advice is to just Plan A as you are able and keep thinking about that sweet baby that's coming! Keeping that baby and yourself healthy and strong are the most important things. Remind your husband how important he is to you, and put this to rest for now.<P>Good luck! --HBC

HurtButCoping<P>Thank you for responding. I'm sorry to hear you have had to suffer a similar situation. H and I had a huge fight last night. He thought I was going to tell him things were over between us, as if I could do that! He said he hasn't seen that look in my eyes for many months, and I'm sure the look he's referring to is the one of total adoration and admiration. But who can have that for their spouse who has betrayed them, not once, but several times? I told him I want that back, to be able to show him those feelings, but in my heart I know she's still in the picture. <P>Well, we were up most of the night, didn't really talk but held each other trying to get back what we've lost. After 5 years, he stills "does it" for me..I haven't been able to figure out how he can't see that! <P>Then, this morning he emailed me and told me that he got an email from her. I was so thankfull that he shared that with me. I thanked him for telling me, but I also told him that he had to end it with her, but he doesn't want to deal with it right now. I hope I didn't LB, but I told him it was critical for our relationship if she is completely out of the picture. I made it clear to him what I thought needed to be done. I told him that since I had IM'd her in a stupid emotional pregnant rage (smile) to stay away from my h, the fact that she emailed him today was proof that she has no consideration for my feelings and that he needed to let her know that he knows that I did that, that we are together and working on our marriage, and that she's in the way of that...in other words he needs to back me up. <P>I don't know if that was the right think to do. But since he's telling me he knows I have distanced myself from him and I have told him why, that I'm afraid of being hurt again, I can't understand why it would be so hard to do that, to tell her to go away.<P>Anyway, that's the latest, just wanted to fill you all in. By the way, I took Dr. Harley's advice and asked my H to send me a copy of the email he's sending to her. He says he can do that. I just hope I'm not critical of him if it's not as strong as i would like it to be.<P>