As much as my wife's PA has hurt me, the truth is courts don't care. It means absolutley nothing. Its too bad we live in a society that has a 50% divorce rate and 70% of marriages endure some type of affair. According to a recent magazine, it is socially accetable to be divorced and to be in or have been involved in an affair.<P>How sick is that?<P>

Goober,<P>I'm so sorry to hear you hurting. I'm guessing that your day in court didn't go well?<P>I hope things look up for you. --HBC

<BR>Goober,<P>I agree. I spoke with an attorney a couple of months ago and he told me basically the same thing - unless the affair puts the children at risk somehow, it's not really a factor in divorce court.<P>I don't know about the magazine article you mentioned though. An affair is most definitely NOT socially acceptable to the people I socialize with. <P>Slightly Sane<BR>

Goober:<P>I work with divorces everyday and you are right the court doesn't care about infidelity. I have often read posts here from people saving evidence from spouses affairs...copies of letter, e-mails, tapes of conversations, etc...and thought to myself "Why waste your time?" The court consider this to be personal choice unless a large portion of the assets have been spend on the affair, then perhaps the injuried spouse can present evidence of this so that he/she can get a greater proportion of the marital estate. <P>It's not even much of a factor in who is awarded the custody of the children. The Courts only care when the children are adversely affected in some way.<P>The Courts did away with this when they eliminated grounds per se. The only ground that counts anymore is cruelty and physical abuse.<P>It's a shame, but the Courts reflect the feelings of society...and society doesn't care anymore and infidelity doesn't have the stigma it use to have.<P>Buffy<P><BR>

I too am so sorry Goober. Wish the court system saw things differently.<P>Hopefully this Board/Forum and MB in general can put a BIG dent in the current affair and divorce stats.<P>Thoughts and prayers,<BR>Jo

It's all so sad... but true!<P>As far as the courts caring for the kids...<BR>...I don't think so!<P>Direct quote from my judge...<BR>"I can't bring any morals into this court..." <P>I can't even get the courts to reserve some of my long term savings for my kids education... <BR>...it's the only place I was saving for it...<BR>...and now my W will be able to blow it away... with little or no contribution!<BR>(she has a track record of "blowing" it away too!)<P>My attorney told me yesterday...<BR>Jim... there aren't many parents who care about their kids education...<BR>...and the courts don't either!<P>Jim

I remember about 2 weeks after my stbx left.....he called and just laughed at me. Said that the judge could care less how many women he slept with.....hell....he said he could walk in with a woman hanging on each arm...and the judge nor I could say or do anything about it.<P>So these people who could care less about how their affair affected their spouse and children's mental and emotional wellbeing...they simply walk away with nothing but a smile on their faces.<P>Yes we have all been affected and some have made some bad choices in their ways of dealing with the affair...now those kind of things can be brought up in the courts....but not the reason for doing those things.