Ok when my H and I were seperated we were both seeing other people. We are now back together and things are going great, but I just got an e-mail from my ex and I don't want to talk to him or see him. What should I do? My H doesn't know everything about him and me (I know he should but he would leave if I told him and I don't want that), but I'm affraid he's going to call the house and talk to my H and tell him everything. I am NOT ready to tell my H about him, so how do I tell him not to call me or e-mail me anymore? Things are going so good with me and my H I don't want him to ruin the happiness my H and I finally share together.

broken_heart:<P>I'd spend some time familiarizing yourself with this website. Focus on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3900_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>The Four Rules for Successful Marriages</A>, and the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3800_honesty.html" TARGET=_blank>Rule of Honesty</A><P>You've been bit. You haven't followed the Rule of Honesty, and it's coming back to haunt you.<P>You've got two options:<P>1. Start using the Rule of Honesty, and tell your husband. <P>2. Continue to lie (avoid), and hope nothing ever comes from it.<P>I'd strongly urge you to do #1. If you need help with this, call one of the Harleys (Steve or Jennifer) for a phone appointment at 888-639-1639. They may be able to help you make a plan to "present" this information to your husband. There's no way that you're going to spare your husband pain, but the way you do this can help with the healing.<P>The longer you put this off, the harder it will be.<P>

First of all no contact with OP is the first rule of surviving an affair. Tell him you have no interest in speaking/writing to him anymore and to leave you alone.<P>The next thing to do is to tell your husband about the affair. Honesty is always the best policy, now more than ever. Your trying to rebuild your marriage and from my standpoint I would want to know before I found out from someone else. That's devastating.

To have true happiness, with no "baggage", you must tell him the truth. You don't want the OM to be the one calling and telling him. Have you tried to break it off completely w/OM? I don't really know how you can make the OM leave you alone. That certainly doesn't help. <BR>

I haven't heard from OM since Jan 00, and all of a sudden he e-mailed me at work. I'm not going to call him or answer his e-mail's and hopefully he'll get the clue. If he doesn't I'll e-mail him to stop contacting me. I honestly don't want to speak with him at all. Thank you guys I'm not sure if I'm going to tell my H, but I will tell OM to leave me alone.