Hi all, H called late last night to let me know he was in town. Said his car was acting up and was going to have it checked this morning, but would call me later today.<BR>My question our son who I have been taking care of ALONE has a TEAM swim party for end of the season. I attended every game and want to thank all the parents that supported us during my H's absence. I think I should attend with him as all the other parents will be there too.<BR>My H wants to talk today, and since he hasn't committed to a specific time. <BR>Should I tell him I am attending gathering with our son and I will call him when we return so we can talk? Or just let son attend alone and stay and talk with H.<BR>Since we have not made a decision if H is going to move back in or just get his own place in town, I don't want our son to think.<BR>Well Dad is back, Mom is going to ignore me.<BR>During a year of conflict (before H left) H and I spent alot of time talking and son would stay in his room (so he wouldn't be in the way). How can I tell both men in my life they are important and not chose one over the other. They both need my presence and I can't be at two places at once. <BR>Party is from 12 to about 4. <BR>Any suggestions? Before H calls me this morning?<BR>Tyra

Well son and I have been very honest with each other since his Dad has been gone.<BR>He just woke up. (You know preteens) I said Dad is having some work done on his car this morning and then he might want to talk. Do you want me to go to your party with you or stay and talk to Dad. He said stay and talk to Dad. I asked are you sure I haven't missed any baseball activities and he said yes that's ok . If Dad wants to talk to you that is ok with me.<BR>What a sweet heart. .. <BR>So I guess now we will see if H really wants to talk to me today or not. <BR>Tyra

Hi Tyra,<P>It's awful to feel so pulled between two people we love isn't it?<P>I would go to the party. It sounds like it is important to you and to your son. Your H is a grown man, and can wait a while if he wants to see you to talk. Let him wait...I'm sure you've done your share of waiting for him to come around.<P>A big part of Plan A for me is showing my H that I have become a much more independent, whole person. He has forced me into the real world, and in some ways it's the best thing thats ever happened to me.<P>You do what will make you happy today.

I'd be with your son. Your H can work around your schedule since he has been vague about when he is available and you have previous plans.

Go to the party. It is not a love buster to show h that you have a life outside of him and part of that life is supporting your son.<BR> If h can not see that he is not ready for you yet.God bless you, GWM