Well, last night h wrote email to ow saying goodbye and we actually have been able to talk about this subject, but I also learned some things...<P>The other day I found an email from her at a different email address...she has at least 4 of our (his)email addresses now. So it actually went deeper than I thought..also I have discovered that his feelings for her were deeper than I thought...it would seem that he is the actual persuer of this relationship which really hurts. But...I just became so cold when I saw it and I would not respond to him. He said he thought I wanted things to be over, but I told him I didn't unless he actually severed his ties completely with her, and I asked him to send the goodbye email. Two days later he hadn't done it. <P>So last night we talked and he told me how horrible her marriage was and that she was confiding in him and looking for sympathy. (This is after he spent months telling me her marriage was a happy one!) I asked him why he couldn't see that that was a dangerous situation for him to be in. I still don't think he believes it though and I don't really think he was ready to end it.<P>Anyway, he sent the email from here, our joint email account, and I'm afraid she's going to think I wrote it because she has never emailed him at this email address!! <P>Also, I'm afraid that they will continue to correspond in secret!! I know that I can't worry about that, but I was wondering if anyone has confronted the OW by email and just told them how they felt and to basically stay away!!??? Or should I trust my h (again!) and believe that he really can let her go.<P>The other thing is, my husband says I don't have that "look" in my eyes I used to have for him. I can't magically get it back right away...he's so contradictory..on the one hand he says I don't pay enough attention to him, but then when I DO pay attention to him and shower him with affection, he becomes reserved and acts as though I am "crowding" him. <P>I tell him I love him everyday, I'm affectionate, I never refuse to make love to him...so what can he possibly mean????? It's like he acts scared he'll lose me if I ignore him, so when I pay attention to him, he acts like he doesn't like it!!! Are other men like this????<P>Last night he was walking around the house almost antsy...like he had somewhere he wanted to be.. He said he was tired but he had a lot of energy and he wanted to DO something. Well..as I am home on bedrest and the baby is due in 10 days, I certainly don't have the OPTION of "doing" anything!! He stayed home, but he was just wierd! I don't know....<P>I just hope this is truly the end of their relationship. He said to her that his marriage was important and he didn't think it was healthy for them to continue their friendship...he hoped she could understand that....I just hope he doesn't resent me for making him do that!<P>Windy

You'er going through a hard time...<BR>...and with just 10 days (or so)<BR>...you need to think of you and the baby.<P>Surf the web for some "meditation" sites...<P>I'm praying for all of you... <P>Jim