removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

yuki...<BR> Not sure anyone here has been here for years...it just seems that way!!! Seriously, I've been here about 5 months...I reply to fewer than I did for a while because it is draining. To see so much pain, and hurt, to care for people you've never met...<BR>...and yet, it is something I also feel the need to do when someone's post strikes me "close to home" or when I feel I have something really useful to add. Many times tho, I do not feel I have a unique perspective or insight, and do not post.<P>Your situation, for example, is one I do not feel like I can add much perspective to, so I read your posts and lurk, but did not reply until today...<P>Kathi

Well, I guess I could qualify as "older" (where's the specialty icons when you need them????? LOL )!!!<P>OK, I'll take a stab at this one and don't worry, no offense taken. I do remember when I spent a lot of my day and sometimes all of my nights on this board! It was my lifeline. I also remember when I started needing it less and less - although hard to tell with the number of posts that I've got out there!!! <P>But, now, with Robert home, my head a bit more together and my life fuller than I can manage, I only have a certain amount of time (too short) each day to get online and sometimes I don't have that. I try to look for news of old friends, those who walked this path with me for the last year - they are my family and I love them as such, posts with 0-1 responses so that people won't feel ignored. I read a lot of the posts and I reply to those that I think I may be able to help, even just comfort sometimes. But.....I run out of time. Everyday. I run out of time. And most of the time, I can't stretch it any farther.<P>Most of us tend to read everything we can, and respond if we think we can help. And most of us, at one point or another, felt EXACTLY the same way that you do!!! Believe it or not. I can show you a good fifty posts from names you might recognize saying they were leaving b/c they felt no one responded to them. Heck, I felt like leaving b/c no one responded to me in the beginning.<P>Stick around. People will become more familiar with your story. Most do read, even if they don't respond. You and your story will become more and more familiar and you'll see more responses. There are so many names on these forums. We oldies are just stretched a bit too thin, sometimes.<P>I'm sorry you feel this way, ym. It'll get better, I promise.<P>Lori

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

yuki miaka,<P>This question hs come up a number of times.<P>When I got on at the end of September...<BR>...I too noticed that there were "clicks".<BR>...especially of the veterans.<BR>But now I consider myself a veteran...<BR>...and feel comfort in continuing the support to those... who when I joined.. gave support to me.<P>This, I believe this to be part of human nature. Nautal attachment to people you gravitate to.<P>If there are other in situations similar to yours... you'll try to "break into" that group... sorry Chris, Paul, K, Bob, SHA...<BR>I've been hitting on these guys a lot since I have a similar situation!<P>Other times... you gravitate to the opposite... trying to think of what your spouse was thinking...(names I won't mention)<P>Time is limited for everyone of us...<P>I think that if your situtation is dramatically out of the ordinary...<BR>or your point of view is significantly different from the MB concepts...<BR>or you don't "Plan A" members (but remain honest in a "Plan A" sort of way)<BR>you'll have a hard time "breaking in".<P>I'll look for more of you posts...<BR>...and if I can honestly offer something constructive... of supportive...<BR>I'll respond.<P> <P>Jim

No need to apologize for the description...<P>Besides, I laughed out loud at the pictures that came into my head. The warrior princesses at 105 brandishing thawed salmon and matches instead of flame throwers. <P>Sorry, we need Sheba and DeWayne here!!<P>Hang in there...<P>Lori

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

<small>[ February 23, 2005, 11:14 AM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Sometimes I feel that I can't reply.....I have been unlucky in love and I don't think that the advice I give can help anyone since it certainly didn't help me.<P>I responded to one of your other posts because I felt that you are being abused by this "family" that you are living with.<P>My MIL and I were civil and sometimes down right nice to each other......but I did not really care for her after she told me she did not like our children and that they were spoiled little brats. Of course if they were hers she would have them over her knee everyday beating the daylight of them. Well I didn't take to kindly to those words and our relationship has been strained ever since. I mean really...how can a grandmother say she has never seen eye to eye with her grandchildren. I never witnessed her hugging, kissing or telling them that she loved them. She has 5 other grandchildren that are grown and our 2 were the only small ones. Before this year they received exactly 2 Christmas presents from her. One year they each got a box of fruit roll ups and the next year they each got a book.<P>The only thing that I can say has made me happy about this divorce is that I was not close to his family.....too much drinking...too many nasty words to each other...no love in their family....I do not miss them. I am only losing a H....but I can't say that I am sad over losing them.<P>Nancy

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

Yuki:<P>I have been trying to think of reasons why I answer a post or not. Mostly I try to decide if I truly have something useful to say. If I don't, I usually don't post. Also, if other people have responded to my threads in the past, I usually try to answer them.<P>A question for you (no offense intended!): How many other people's threads have you responded to? Why did you pick them? The answers you give may give you insight as to why more folks don't answer you.<P>How is the home situation, by the way? <P>All the best. --HBC

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

all "offensive" posts removed