Well on saturday night he moved out.. I think he is staying with friends.. He told me he saw an attorney a week and a half ago... so things really don't sound too good... for 7 months I tried my best, yes I had some LB's in there, but how can one expect to be perfect?? I didn't have the affair... I tried everything !!! and now this.he still is in contact from the OW from abroad... last physical contact in OCT99.<BR>I guess he plans to meet with her this summer... That is what he told me several weeks ago. <P>All of this just breaks my heart... the pain and agony is just so very unbearable. <P>He calls everyday.. I have not called him once. He calls to talk with the kids and ask questions re: the house and bills etc...<BR>I just can't believe that last night he sat at our club house drinking and socializing .... How can he do this?? I'm suffering and he's having a grand time with his buddies. I was angry at him for this but didn't call over there... When he called later, from where he is staying, I never brought it up.... best to just bite my tongue.<P>He told me over the weekend that in the seven months, since Discovery, that his feelings hasn't changed "abit"... that made me feel real good...I fel like everything has been let out of me. I feel defeated.<P>I had him tell the kids that he was leaving... he almost started to cry twice when talking to them... we all walked him to the door and I told him that I loved him and that the kids loved him... take good care of himself and that he was important to us.<P>I later told the kids (14 & 17) that this was his decision to leave... and that I would never hold them back from seeing their father. See my H asked me questions infront of them re:... "is it ok if I call them/"... stuff like that... I responded with " of course you can"....Why would he act like that??/<P>I'm beginning to believe alll the things he has said to me... maybe he has found the love of his life... this is the first time in my life I've been happy... etc...blah...blah.. I think he'll be the one percent that goes off into the sunset and lives a haappy life with this other women...<P>Sorry for rambling and all..... I need sound advice......do ya think all hope is lost???<P>I've been praying without ceassing !!!!<P>scoick

I remember my d day and I was so broken and my H was a pizza place eating pizza with guys from work...it is like they do not feel our pain...<P>I am heading for D, so I do not know if I am much help but....don't beg, cry, plead ect in front of him. Be confidant and strong. I have done all the above and my H just laughed at my pain. I truly think when they finally see that you can make it with out them and their affairs fall flat in their face is when they wake up and want us back. The problem is it might not happen until D is over with.<BR>During this time, just work on you and taking care of you....YOU have to be there for your kids ect...H is in neverland but he will run out of fairy dust and his world will come crashing down...<P>I will be thinking about you...I will always remember when my H moved out...I hated sleeping alone...now I kinda like it...<P>Hang in there!<P>

My stbx is in that one percent too. He has never looked back and in fact, has pulled farther away than anyone thought possible.<P>Now, I don't want him ever to come back. I know I don't and can't accept him back. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. 1 1/2 years later...and it still hurts.<P>My stbx has been mean...nasty and vindictive. He needs help badly...but will never get it. Hopefully the new love of his life will be able to help him, because the children and I haven't been able to.<P>Good luck to you....I hope everything works out for you and your husband and your children<P>Nancy

{{{{{{{{scoik}}}}}}}:<P>I'm so sorry to hear your pain in your post.<P>I doubt that OW is truly "the love of [his] life", though that won't really help you much right now because he believes it. And there is absolutely NO WAY that I believe this is the "first time in his life he has been happy." No matter how difficult your marriage had become, there was a day that he smiled at you and said he loved you. He may not be able to remember that now; the world he's living in has no bad days or arguments because it is a fantasy. He has so much learning he has to do. Unfortunately, he is doing it at your expense. <P>Only you will know when it is right for you to end the marriage.<P>There is no need to abandon all hope, but I wouldn't do so and remain stagnant in my life if I were you. The pain is incredible, but you are a good person, and you shouldn't allow yourself to wallow in the pain.<P>Keep on Plan A-ing or Plan B-ing (I'm sorry I don't know which you're following), but don't forget to take care of yourself.<P>Hang in there, scoik. You'll be okay no matter what happens with your H.<P>All the best. --HBC