(sigh)<p>[This message has been edited by popeye (edited June 11, 2000).]

popeye,<P>{{{{{popeye}}}}}...<P>I'm sorry your in a funk right now...<P>Everything takes time...<BR>...starting a new life isn't going to be different.<P>My divorce will most certainly happen on or near August 7th...<BR>...with that... a new job...<BR>...and a forced new lifestyle as a permanent single dad!<P>Do things for yourself...<BR>...even if they don't make you a better person (you know what I mean)...<P>When you can... do things for yourself...<BR>...that <B>do</B> make you a better person!<BR>You've been doing some of that by the "good" advice you've been giving on th forum! I've seen it!<P>Hey...<BR>...you probably haven't heard this lately...<BR>...<B>you are loved</B>!<P>...it's hard to remember that sometimes!<BR>...especially when no one is around to say it!<P> <P>Jim

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>Do things for yourself...<BR>...even if they don't make you a better person (you know what I mean)...<P>...you probably haven't heard this lately...<BR>...you are loved</B>!<BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thanks. I don't know what you mean though...<BR>I particularly appreciate that last part. It doesn't feel like it. I feel like I am giving so much to other people and to other things that there is nothing left for me. I'm trying to make sure my daughter feels as little of this as possible and also that I don't step on my H's feelings, but nobody is looking out for me. Just draining me dry. <P>

Popeye says:<P><BR>" but nobody is looking out for me"<P><BR>Dylan says:<P>"yes we are. that's what we're here for"<P><BR>(((((((((((((((((Popeye))))))))))))))))))<P><BR>Dylan<P>family IS precious.....with someone who CARES<P>------------------<BR>"The journey into darkness has been long and cruel, and you have gone deep into it."<BR>~ A Course in Miracles

Gosh Popeye,<P>Reading your post I really felt what you're saying. You do deserve to be loved and you are. I'm confident you have a bright, full future ahead of you w/a Family. When the time is right it will happen. I promise.<P>I have to say that your intuition of what kind of Father your H would have been based on his treatment of his dog is probably right on the money. I believe in my heart you made the right decision by not having children with him. You are second guessing yourself right now because the finality is near. You've done everything, and then some, you could to try and make this marriage work, you shouldn't have any regrets, Popeye. A person can only take so much.<P>I believe that one day you and our H will probably become friends again. I think he looks up to you and really admires you for your strength and convictions, I also think he needs you. So guess what I'm saying is even if you D, it's not necessarily over. It's all up to you who will be in your life and who won't and to what degree. As far as a heartfelt "I'm sorry", you just never know, didn't think I'd hear one from my H and did. It takes a mature person to say I'm sorry and mean it, hopefully one day our H's will grow up.<P>I share your passion for a family, Popeye. My immediate family was very disfunctonal so that was the #1 thing I wanted in my life. So ironic that now I have no children, no H and no family. Guess God has another plan for me. I'm waiting ...<P>I'm right there w/you Popeye. Try to get out today in your garden, very therapeutic. I'll keep and eye out for more posts too.<P>Be well and take care...<P>Jo

Take a bubble bath...<BR>Buy yourself a new dress...<BR>Shop with your daughter...<BR>Splurge on a dessert... I won't mention chocolate (inside joke)...<P>Do something for <B>you</B>!<P>Can you think of anyone nicer?! <P> <P>Jim

You were up early today! Couldn't you sleep last night? Was the dog in the trash or something?<P>I just wanted to stop and take a moment to tell you that, for what it's worth, you have a sort of family here with us, and I for one, truly care about you, worry about you and completely empathize with your feelings of sadness and disappointment. You are caught up in a cycle right now, it will pass.<P>You're a pretty special and incredible woman and you have so much to offer. You have been wonderful to me and generously offered your support and wisdom to so many here.<P>If you feel alone, unloved and unappreciated, I am here to tell ya, here on this forum you are definitely NOT alone and you are loved and appreciated.<P>Catnip =^^=

I'm so sorry, popeye....I don't know what else to say to you except that I hope you feel better soon.<P>------------------<BR> <A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/zbucketmouse" TARGET=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/zbucketmouse</A> is where my page is. Oh yeah, THANKS EVERYBODY FOR REPLIES!!!:) Very much appreciated!:)

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>There was no real triggering incident. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Didn't you say just recently that your H signed the divorce papers? That's bound to have a tremendous impact, perhaps more than you'd like to admit. <P>Someone mentioned that you garden? Would there happen to be a plant out there that's not quite making it? Or a scrappy looking shrub that you never really liked? If you do, go out there and rip it out of the ground! I did that to a scrappy guava that barely grew, hardly bloomed and never fruited for three years. I was grieving for a lost pet at the time. The physical labor, digging in the dirt, and making room for something new in the garden made me feel a smidge better. The brugmansia that took its place is doing much better than the guava ever did. <P>Hope you feel better soon. As a computer nerd once said to me "Disk too shall pass"