Hi All, <P>Well, I inquired into an office transfer, after "H" told me he had filed for the divorce Monday. They called me today, said I can have the transfer in mid July but they have to have a definite decision tomorrow. I believe God is guiding me, and that the move back to my old town is the direction that I am supposed to follow. It will give the girls and I a new start.<P>When I left work today and got out on the Hwy I literally screamed at the top of my lungs! We live in a beautiful neighborhood with a lot of great families, none want to see us leave. Many have told me to come back often they have a room for me to come visit. The scream released a lot, thankfully no one was that close to see the "big mouth wide open"! But if felt good, then I shed several tears, got home, called my girlfriend and we, kids and all went for a work out at the gym and then for pizza.<P>I am going to sleep on it tonight but I think I really have no choice. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, it is strange though that most things in the company I work for take months to get accomplished and this came through in just 1 day.<P>My girls are doing well, my 13 yr old who dreaded the revolving door with Dad, who had voiced her concern that he would just leave again, was actually sad when she heard that he filed for the divorce and admitted that she really did not want that after all but understands and knows we will make the best of it. <P>I am sad because I know how things could be if a real commitment had been made. But I have also come to realize my own emotional needs and that I am worthy of recieving as much as I give too. Who knows maybe this is a good Plan B! I am not giving up, but I am moving on for myself and my girls. Hey it's only a 55 min drive from here! Right!<P>Target dates are between 7/17 and 7/20, wish us luck and keep us in your prayers, I say a prayer for everyone here at MB too!<P>------------------<BR>Lila<BR>Forgiving is hard, Forgetting is harder BUT it is not impossible

{{{Lila}}}:<P>I don't have any sage advice, but I thought you could use a post-scream hug.<P>Hang in there! It sounds like you're making some tough decisions but you're doing great. I'm glad your children are doing well; I know that helps you.<P>All the best! I'm pulling for you! --HBC

Thank you HBC,<P>I left the girls with "H" this past weekend, gave myself some time. When I returned I asked him about alternating weekends with the girls. He said fine. Then Monday he said the only reason I chose those weekends was so he could not go out at night? He works days one weekend and nights the next. I was shocked that he would consider leaving the girls alone at night! A friend told me that a real parent makes sacrifices for their children. Our 13 yr old is really going to be hurt when she realizes that Dad won't take her just so he can go out to the bars at night! <P>Well have to get ready for work, God Bless Everyone!<P>------------------<BR>Lila<BR>Forgiving is hard, Forgetting is harder BUT it is not impossible