Here is my question...<BR>Before my H's A, we were 100% open financially to each other. On the d-day, I quick put aside all cash found in my house. I was scared, didn't know what my H's going to do. After things settled a little I made my own account, and deposited my unemployment checks without telling my H. I was going to tell him about the account later, and did (not about the cash though). He understood me and said no problem, yet I can see his feelings got hurt, since he's never going to give me and kids any financial problem even things go the worst. It was my little revenge and registance... <P>I'm feeling bad and since I'm going to ask him to be completely honest with me (I'm trying to get an appo w/Dr H early next week for my H), I'm thinking about apologizing and show all money and my bank book to him, asking what he wants me to do with them. Is this bad idea? Should I wait to see my H's session w/Dr.? It's going to be a few days to get appo yet, and I'm feeling like I have to do something. I'll appreciate any advice...

Alein, the week I found out about my H's affair, I transferred $2000 worth of savings into a checking account with my name only. I actually told H that I was going to start an account in my name and he suggested using the savings. I told him that I hated to do it. I didn't think he would clean out the checking account and run out, but then, I never though he would have an A either. I told him that I had enough to get through about one month if he skipped out on me.<P>I don't think that you are being vengeful or anything. I think it is a good precaution. Talk to any lawyer and they will agree that it is in your best interest to have your own checking account in this situation. They have seen the worst. Do be upfront with your H. Let him know how much is in the account. Remember 50% or so of that money is his. He has to understand that he has broken your trust and until he gets it back, you have to protect yourself.<P>Good luck.

Thanks Lapeine,<BR>I was all over on these forums today and that's all I want to do now. <P>I'll take your advice and keep my account, will let him know how much in there.<P>I have 2 small children and my family is 3000 miles away, I have to protect me and my kids no matter what. After I told him about it he said he understood but sometimes makes it into a joke. "Put this money in your secret account?" Not funny at all but I say nothing. Maybe I should fill his EN "admiration" mentioning his financial support for me, instead...<P>Thanks to your support too, Lapeine!<BR>I keep you in my prayers.