Dear friends,<BR>On May first my husband left for a business trip and he was supposed to call me as soon as he checked in in the hotel. He never did and never came back home. We were married for six years, and we were a nice couple, lots of friends, we did sports together like running and sailing. We do not have kids aND WE HAD A VERY FUNNY AND GREAT RELASHIONSHIP. hE WAS MY BEST FRIEND, and we loved each other a lot.... etc etc... He left claiming that he was playing a hole that it wasn´t him (told me by phone), he said he was in a personal crisis and so on. I was very sopportive and very friendly everytime we talked on the phone and everyday I was waiting for him to came back. What happen is that after a week he rented an apartament, after another week he asked me to move all his things. I was miserable and devastated but always being nive to him. I was going to the counselling (4 times a week) and on medicine for depression during all month. Then, one mondaym 15 days ago, I woke up with an idea: I got his phone bill (mobile phone) from the phone company. And the surprise was that he was seeing a woman in the other side of the country. The bill was U$ 1,600, all calls to the same number. I took it and found a lawyer and she said we should hurry up with the separation, once he was very guilt and lying to me everyday. I didn´t say a word to him about the fact I knew it. He was so guilt that he gave me everything, an apartament, a car, the sports club membership and everything inside the house. My lawyer moved on with the process and he askes her to hurry up because he was very confised and all tha crap...<BR>So, last Friday we went to the Court, I was looking gorgeous, I dropped off 20 pounds, I was tanned and he didn´t take his eyes from me. We signed everything with the judge etc etc... When we were living the Forum he offered me a ride to go back to my work. I accept and we were supposed to cross a road and he embraced me to protect me from the cars and I don´t know why and how i said: "Could you imagine if your girlfriend Jane sees us like that "? He almost faint. Once inside the car I told him I knew wvwrything and the only thing I could say about it was wishing them luck and happyness and that I was sure that both we will be very happy. He was soooo madddd....<BR>The thing is: what happen ? He knew this women a week before he travelled, she wasn´t his love before, she works for his company and is a little bit younger than me. I´m sure sex is not the deal, does someone has any hint on it ? I feel he stil loves me, my cousellor says the same and some close friends too. Dos anyone of you ever saw somethign like that befire ? I´m very sad and depressed.<BR>Lonely <BR>

Claudia,<P>I have never seen a progression to a divorce as quickly as yours.<P>Does that mean all is lost? Not necessarily.<P>Your Plan A was very short too...<P>Are you still interested in reconciling?<BR>I should be divorced on August 7th... and I will most likely be continuing Plan A...<P>If you are not interested in reconciling...<BR>...go to a Plan B... and work at ending that "love" bank.<P> <P>Jim

Jim, <BR>I agree 100% with you. But he moved, didn´t give me his address, change his phone number, etc etc... I would love to tell you some details maybe you could help me to conclude if I shoul move to plan B and how I shoul do it. Any hint ?

Claudia,<P>First Question...<BR>Are you still interested in reconciling?<P>Second Question...<BR>How much love do you have for your H?<P>Third Question...<BR>How much love does he have for you?<P>Jim

Jim,<P>first answer: yes<BR>second: all love in the world<BR>third: he does not love me anymore, he´s in love with OW<P>It´s not that easy, isn´t it ?<P>Luv,<P>Claudia

Claudia,<P>Funny thing my h is in Sao Paolo today (we're from Florida) and the OW is from there. He was so in love with her, he took extra business trips to go there, and finally wanted to leave us and move her here.<P>There has now been no contact for 6 months and we are doing very well. I even trust him to go to Brazil (he has to on business).<P>As Jim said, do YOU want it bad enough to do a plan A? I'm sorry he just took off on you like that. It's painful anyway, but harder when they aren't there to talk to.<P>It may be harder since you ran so fast to divorce, but never impossible. Do you have any contact where you could plan A?

He gave up a wonderful marriage... it´s so sad. I think I do not have energy ans strengh to go farther, the separation and divorce sucked all my soul. Besides hat I can´t be pushing on him, he cuted all contact, no phone, no cellular, no address... it´s better live it like hat. He pushed the divorce to be asap and gave me everything we had together. He moved to a one bedroom apartamant and OW lives in the northest of the country, 5 hours flying, she´s 30 and he´s 46. I think that there is no way back... I can´t handle it anymore, too much pain.