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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 7 |
My wife had an affair over a year ago that we are still working through. A month ago, I had a brief (2 week) sexual fling with a coworker. At that time, I was sure that my wife and I were going to complete our divorce. (I know that doesn't justify my actions). Now, things have changed and there seems like there may be hope for my wife and I. Now I have this cloud hanging over me, that I am no better than her for doing what I did. I'm sure Dr. Harley would say I should admit the affair to my wife, but I want to get some more opinions first. I really don't know if I should or not...
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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 829
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Member
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 829 |
Intuition,<P>As a betrayed spouse I am begging you to tell your wife the truth. I thought for the longest time I was just going crazy, while my husband continued to lie to me. He made me feel like a nutcase, but after enough snooping I got him to admit what he was doing.<P>I truly believe that the betrayed knows what is going on in their own heart. Your user name is intuition...very interesting, as that is what usually nails a betrayer in the end. Please don't let your wife think she's nuts and deny your affair. My husband looking at me in the face and lying over and over again is more painful to me than the fact that he was screwing around for two years.<BR>
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 63
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Member
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 63 |
I agree.<P>If you have a chance to rebuild your marriage, please build it on the foundation of truth. <P>If not, you will spend the rest of your life running from it. <P>You both deserve to know everything and make your choices with full knowledge of each other.<P>Trust begins with Truth.<P>Praying for you both!
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Now I have this cloud hanging over me, that I am no better than her for doing what I did.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Did you think/feel you were “better” than her before you had an affair? Not really something you can build on, is it?<P>I think you should tell her. Do it in a way which she will not feel at fault (don’t blame her), let her know you screwed up and you want to work through everything and get to a place where you can both understand what has happened to you in the last few years.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>
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