Hi all,<P>I am reading posts this morning, and I am just feeling overwhelmed with the sense of sadness and hopelessness. (I have got to go after this because I just can't take it anymore!)<P>It seems to me that we are living in such a morally bankrupt society that allows OPs to wiggle their way into our lives without consequences, WSs to quickly and easily get out of their legal and moral obligations without consequences, and often family and friends support the OPs! What is up with that?<P>The legal system needs to be changed to make it more punitive on adulterers. There need to be more successful cases of alienation of affection. Legitimate children need to be protected from income robbing OCs. There needs to be some reason for people to think twice about what they are doing. Morals just aren't doing it! I have so often seen people describe themselves as religious, but they are still doing this!<P>In my first marriage, I stayed as long as I did because I didn't have anywhere to go. There was no real choice but to be committed. I felt that I HAD to work things out and my commitment came from lack of options. I stayed much longer than I would have otherwise. Today, we have all kinds of options, and this has not been a good thing.<P>Am I saying we should legislate morality? Absolutely not, but if people felt there were consequences to their acts (besides the threat of going to some inconceivable hell, which obviously isn't stopping many people), they might think before destroying their families and might think before leaving for good.<P>I see so many of you who are hurting today because of selfishness and thoughtlessness, and I just want to put my arms around you all. (sigh) I am so overwhelmed by this today and so sad. I wish it were different.<P>I believe divorce is the best option in some situations, but it should never be an easy one. The betrayeds should not be left holding the bag because of something that "just happened". The children should not be stuck with a parent who sees them 4 times a month, if that, and suffers from a reduced standard of living and less parental supervision because the custodial parent has to work. <P>Divorce is terrible. Marriage is hard work. It's not always easy or pretty, but I see the dedication of married people right here who are looking for skills to make their relationships happier. They should be given a chance. I know it's a pie in the sky attitude, but I am entitled to it! I am so angry and so sad today to see so many suffering. God bless you all.

I don't know if you will come back to read this, but I wanted to add that I think it is more than running away from moral and legal obligations.....it is really runnning away from ourselves.<P>I think we all would rather sleep through life than wake up...To be awake requires alot of hard work and awareness...of ourselves and others.....It is painful to really look at ourselves...<P>Somehow in our society we all seem to feel that "It" is out there.....and when we don't feel like we have "it" it must be someone's (or something like a job, place etc.) fault....<P>I hope through all of this I can teach my children that we have a responsibility to bring ourselves into any relationship.<P>We are responsible for 100% of 50% of any relationship....no more no less......<P>ANyway,,,,thought I'd add my one cent!!!!

Hey, I just saw something on the news that will make you happy, states are finding they are loosing money with so many divorces so they are looking for ways to stop them.. requiring classes before you can get married and such.<P>See, they don't care about the morality, but once money is involved...<BR>Lora

Hey Popeye,<P>My thoughts on the subject of commitment, I believe it shouldn't be easy to get married. I think there needs to be prerequisites you meet before you can tie that knot. Maybe like Lora mentioned regarding taking classes. <P>Although I did wait 5 yrs bef marrying my H, in retrospect I think if we both would have been better educated on what it takes to make a solid honest happy and affair proof marriage perhaps this could have been avoided. I don't think my H really knows what marriage is or means.<P>In the same token, I'm an advocate for State Laws that mandate some sort of waiting period or verification methods before a divorce can be granted. <P>So guess I'm saying it shouldn't be made easy to get married OR divorced.<P>Just my 2 cents worth.<P>Jo