Oh <B>Sheba</B> I love you... <BR>... and I feel so bad for all you're going through too!<P>I know I haven't been on the forums as much as I used too... <P>I'm trying to get ready for my trip (3 weeks to the old country) coming up on Tuesday.<P>I'll have one final post Sunday or Monday before I go. And of course I'll ask all of you to help each other and the Newbies while I'm gone!<P>Sheba posted to me... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Now come back out here and talk to us. I want to hear your voice (or see your words) to know how you really are doing!!! Don't make me worry, young man!!!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>..you gotta love her don't you guys and gals! With all she has to decide on now too!<P><B>So how am I really doing?</B>...<BR>Quite good actually...<BR>I'm still unemployed... and will be until the trial on August 7th... but I know I can get a new one quite quickly...<BR>...since I've had a few unsolicited inqueries from old friends/co-workers and companies.<BR>Yes, money is tighter now...<BR>...and I am waiting for the tax refund checks... very anxiously...<BR>But... most importantly... I see all of you helping each other...<BR>...and it puts a great in my heart.<P>I haven't had the time I'd like to spend here mostly because I am getting together all the awful details needed to prepare my attorney for the trial... This is one heck of a job... and why I tell most everyone (with any chance of going through a divorce) "document" what goes on daily!!! The work is tiring... and does bring up some bad feelings of what has transpired during the infidelity and separation. But if I do my homework... I will have the best chance to not be devasted in court. And as I pull all this "junk" together... I once again... to myself... forgive my W... at least in my mind (can't do it to her since it will be a LB big time)<P>No need to worry about me...<BR>...I am in the Lord's hands<BR>...no matter what happens in court<BR>...no matter what happens with my marriage<BR>...no matter the possibility/probability of W marrying the OM.<P>I think for the most part...<BR>...by spending the time I have on this forum...<BR>...I am learning to take my own advice... that which I give to all of you...<BR>(yes you too Sheba)<P>Maybe that's why I don't post too much to "ask my own questions"...<BR>It's not that I am a know-it-all...<BR>It's just that I think I've really found that narrow path that the Harley's talk about...<BR>...and it's running down the same narrow path...<BR>...my faith is asking me to follow.<P>Do you guys remember one of my old signatures...<BR><B>I can dare myself... I'll put a pebble in my shoe...<BR>I can walk... I can walk! I shall call the pebble Dare...<BR>Dare shall be carried... And when we both have had enough<BR>I will take him from my shoe, singing... "Meet your new road!"...<BR>Finally glad... Finally glad... That you are here... By my side...</B><P>I don't have complete peace...<BR>I don't have a 100% clear goal...<BR>I don't have my W back...<BR>But what I do have is very good...<BR>...my faith ...my God... ...my Savior...<BR>...my children<BR>...my family<BR>...my friends here on MB<P>You know who you are... <BR>...and your kindness will endure... <P>Thanks everyone...<BR>...as I said... I'll have one more post before I go.<P>Prayers... thoughts... and love... <P>Jim/<B>N</B>ew <B>S</B>un <B>R</B>ising

Jim,<BR>You will always amaze!! I wanna be like you when I grow up!! LOL <P>If this is actually how you are feeling about all of this, you are stronger than anyone I know. To actually deal with everything in you life the way that you are, just stupifies me. Even when you vent, you do it in a nice way! <P>Your wife WILL regret throwing away such a kind and caring man! <P>Mitzi

Hi Jim/New Sun Rising<P>You sound good - somewhat resolved - and have plenty to do to keep you busy till that day in August, so that is good.<P>Hope you have a wonderful vacation. And you definitely will be missed around here.<P>I've been sick since I came back from CA - I'm functioning, no fever, but still having trouble breathing and coughing a lot. Starting to turn into a hypochondriac - wondering if I should go get checked for TB - after working with so many refugees, I know I have been exposed, this is for sure. I had a TB test almost 2 years ago, but - this coughing has gone on too long. So say a prayer for me.<P>I have an update for you, well, not really an update but a vent....http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/003649.html<P>I know we are moving forward, and if we could just get some distance soon and some time under our belt, we'll be better off. Life is so much easier when it is Husband, Wife and Son, and there is no X,Sassy SD's, OW too-da-looing as she is driving by, and all. H is such a conflict avoider, he doesn't take the action needed to create the atmosphere that we need of no-contact, so I guess it will just take the divinely created distance and time in the mean time.<P>Yes, Sheba is really a wonderful gal, and I really hope she makes the wisest decision. Sometimes I worry that she loves Mr. Wackadoodle so much, that she doesn't look out for herself enough. It is easy to be a giver when you love someone so much. It is hard to get a healthy balance in there, sometimes.<P>You take care my friend.<BR>TNT

I will miss your wise words while you are gone......but will carry them with me throughout this ordeal..<P>Have a wonderful time...you have much.....to be thankful for as we all do here...but you are so in touch with that....I'm working on it!!!!

All the best to you, Jim/NSR!! You are amazing. --HBC