Hello Gang,<BR>My questions concerns that Mid-Life thing that most men (and some women)go through. <P>We made it through the seven year itch, a few scratches and bruises but nothing to call the doctor about. We made it through and the marrriage is better than ever.<P>Now we have to make it through this MLC thing. Notice I say we, because both must go through it. I'm just wondering how one can avoid the pit falls that come along with MLC. With all the experience in the forum I'm sure a few people can help me with this. <P>Are there any signs that you are in MLC?<P>What can your spouse do to help you through?<P>Is there anything here in MB to help guide you through MLC? <P>Which is more likly to happen in MLC: EA or PA? And how to avoid either or both.<P>Just seeking a little help to make marriage and life a little easier.<P>Thanxx in advance for any help. <P>------------------<BR>PSALMS 133<BR>AMOS 7:7-8<BR>ECCLESIASTES 12:1-7

The best book I've read on midlife is "Men in Midlife". Gosh, forgot the author, sorry. It's kinda long, but really goes into all of the aspects of what happened to the author.<P>I know my H (Mr. Mid-Life himself) has run the entire gamut in this process. He used to be so self-assured, so in control. Now, especially since his affair, he cries easily, is totally lost and confused, has no idea where he is going in life. Thank God his career has not suffered, as this is the one place he feels in control.<P>He's gotten a lot better since disclosure, and ending his affair, but has moved out of our home to "find himself". Unfortunatley, he finds himself at bars most nights because he hates his apartment so much.<P>What can your spouse do to help you through a MLC? Exactly what we are learning here at MB. Love, patience, holding our spouses up with our strength. Understanding that they are in a sick phase of life and can't help it.<P>I'm no expert on which happens most, an EA or PA, but with my H, he needed someone to talk to, so it began as an EA, and turned into a PA. I see a lot of that here. OW made H feel special, and he felt a spark he had not felt in a long time.<P>Hope this helped a bit.<P>allison<P>

You can find the book allison referred to at <A HREF="http://www.midlife.com." TARGET=_blank>www.midlife.com</A>. There are some other interesting sounding books there as well. I just ordered "Women In Midlife Crisis" and "Tratis of a Lasting Marriage". Can't wait to read them.<P>Here's a page on that site that answers this specific questions:<P><A HREF="http://www.midlife.com./html/q&a/84.htm" TARGET=_blank>How Can I Prevent Midlife Crisis?</A><P>[This message has been edited by TruthSeeker (edited June 29, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by TruthSeeker (edited June 29, 2000).]