I have reached a point in our counseling where I am a bit frustrated. I have read all the articles on this site as to what you should be looking for in a counselor. But wanted to get some of your advice. Not to pry too much...but what the heck do you all talk about? I know this must be bad that I ask...we seem to start off each week with recapping our interactions from the previous week. We have been doing this for 4 months now. Things are slowly getting better between H and myself, but we haven't started getting to the nuts and bolts. H says he loves me and us, wants to make it work. The sessions seem to be a free for all...H goes off on tangent and counselor will bring it back...I just wonder are we supposed to get homework? Should the counselor prompt us for things to discuss? We got here because of our inability to communicate...or at least my H inability to communicate, I believe I am very open about my feelings. Any advice?

Sounds like maybe you need another counselor. In my opinion, it is the counselor's job to meet YOUR needs. If your needs are providing you with better communication skills, that is what should be addressed. <P>There are all kinds of counselors with different types of approaches. Not all approaches work with all people. You have to find a good fit. Some are directive, some are not. Some give homework. Some don't. Some are brief and solution focused. Some are focused on improving the relationship dynamics. There are all kinds of counselors, but if you've been there for more than 3 sessions and don't feel you are connecting or that it is helping, I'd be looking for a new counselor.<P>This is kind of hard though. When I found mine, I called several people wanting to speak to them ahead of time about what their focus was and what I could expect before spending my time and money with them. Most wanted me to pay for that information in the form of an appointment. No thanks! I did end up with someone pretty good though.<P>Good luck!

My husband and I have a team - a husband and wife, that specialize in family, child, and marriage couseling. <P>They have been a blessing. The husband sees my H and I started 6 months ago with the wife. They work together. We are not ready to have a joint session yet - my husband has a bit more work to do. <P>I met with my husbands counselor last night. He wanted to get my take on the whole event and he wanted to know what I needed from my husband and my husbands therapy to help direct their sessions. <P>Steve has a real big problem with honesty and he has not been truthful with his therapist. This is one of the criticals in our marriage and what I want from his therapy - he needs to learn it's ok to tell the truth - he thinks when you tell the truth - your'e being mean since it often hurts people, so he has lived his life in lies and secrets. No more with me though - he needs to grow up...<P>Anyway, if you are not happy with your counselor, do find another - I got very lucky this time, I have had bad experiences. <P>There are some really good ones out there.