Hi everyone,<P>I haven't had a chance to get online in a little while this weekend. The time my wife spent out of town worked wonders on me. I found God. I don't know enough to witness, but I can tell everyone that my life has changed. almost all the pressures are completely off my shoulders, It happened so quickly it seemed supernatural. <P>I picked her up from the airport Friday evening, and for the first time I spoke to her with confidence and strength. I had been the little victum till that point. I explained to her that no matter what happens I am going to be ok, and the rest of my life now has a path. I told her I love her very much but she is not my prisoner. I told her out of respect to me if she would ike to continue seeing her boyfriend she would need to move to a extended stay hotel. It is not fair to me or the kids for her to throuw me out or to take them with her because it was her EA. She agreed, ting is she seems to be struggling with it completely, I had thought that is what she wanted, to be able to be with her lover without the pressure of lying to us. I think confusion has set in. The time she was away was good for me so I think she needs some more time to think. This weekend has not been completely flawless though. earlier today she was up in her office for hours with the door shut, She used to do this claiming she was busy working<BR>but realy e-mailing back and forth to her friend. I started to get upset, realizing I could do nothing I asked her to go ahead and leave tonight. I want her to have the time to think and have her fun(I really don't want her to have her fun). I think the fog will start lifting. I in no way am turning to plan B yet.<P>When I went upstairs I found that she actually had been lurking on MB for about 4 or 5 hours. She found and read my original thread, she told me she knows now how true my feelings are and that I'm not lying to her. Maybe she will eventually turn to momma, wings, inamess, and the rest of you WS that have helped me so much to understand her plight. She seems to still be a little apprehensive. I think she is scared and decided to leave this afternoon, she knew how much it torments me that she won't ct off all contact with OM. She said she is going to go driving. All I can do is assume she is not lying and seeing him. It really doesn't matter though I have no control.<P>"If you love something give it wings and if it comes back it was meant to be" I probablly hacked that quote all to peices, but you know what I mean. I keep looking to God because he takes all my worries off my shoulders, if I let him and ON WITH PLAN A!!!!

Good for you, Homer! You are doing incredibly well! God will give you His strength, as He already has. <BR>If there is anything I can do, please let me know. My husband and I are now moving toward our own healing after I revealed the truth, but we are still in a lot of pain together as well. <P>You're doing great! So proud of you. <BR>Praying for you and your wife, <BR>Wings....

I was so glad to read this post, Homer! Maybe she will come around! <P>Homer's wife, if you're reading this, please let us help you. If you've read any of our stories, you know we've been there. You don't have to go into any explanations or anything that would identify you as Homer's wife, just ask questions, if you have any. I've seen my H go through what Homer's going through, and I know how much hurt there is on both sides! Please use MB to help you, even if it's just reading.<P>Homer, I'm so glad you've found God, and you're allowing Him to work in your life. He can give us that strength, even when we don't think we have any left! I'm also glad your W is hitting that confusion point, because believe it or not, it does lead to clarity! And if you set her free, and she does come back to you, then you know it's meant to be! My H let me make the decision to stay or leave, he never gave up, but he did tell me it was up to me to go or stay. And....I stayed! Given the choice, I chose my H. I hope you get that opportunity! Give her some time, if you can. Time tells all. Keep your chin up!

I'm not really asking her to leave. I want her to be part of our daily lives. I just want her to have some space and I'm willing to cover the cost the best I can and sacrafice to allow her the space. In no way am I looking to Plan B. She has just told me she can't stop seeing OM, and as long as she can't I'd rather her not be pressured to lie to me about it. We have a pretty descent size home, but I told her it is our home, meaning Her, Me , and the 2 children, there is no room for OM. That includes him being in her mind. I feel the extended stay hotel will allow her the freedom she needs to think, and it will also help me to stay out of her business and not pressure her.<P>I've had a rough time with that so far.<P>Keep up the prayers, I love her and I feel she will come around.<P><BR>thanks for the encouragement

Homer:<P>You have such an ability to grasp concepts...it is astonishing to see how well you have and are continuing to handle this. You have done everything so well. I certainly think we can all learn from you how to be supportive in a very difficult situation.<P>As well as you have done, there are things you are just going to have difficulty with, but I believe you have handled them as well as anyone can. No one is capable of being perfect...don't expect to be...just do the best you can...and you have shown your best is quite good.<P>Isn't it nice that the posts that you posted on MB that your W read were so filled with love in the face of all the hurt you were going through. Would that we all could do that.<P>You have certainly put yourself in capable hands....hands that will guide you in the troublesome days to come.<P>Buffy <p>[This message has been edited by buffy (edited July 03, 2000).]