Was just told tonight that the om will leave her if she is with me on our annivesary. <BR>The problem is I heard that last year.<BR>And they seem to be together still.<BR>I don't know what to think i guess i will have to wait and see.I just talked to jennifer harley and she say's wait and see. <BR>I was going to plan B her but I just could'nt do it.She tell's me she is going to be with him on the 4TH and was going to take the kids I said that I will take the kids to see the fire works cause i don't think that is fair to the kids.I am going nuts and so is she. she has that "i don't know what to do thing going on".I asked her if she would spend the 4th with me and she said "I don't know " like I have'nt heard that before.She is not wanting a divorce and she still loves me I told her if she wants to work this out there can be no contact with him.She say's she MIGHT tell him it's over.I heard that before to. I don't know what to do how will i know if she means it this time?

The mixed messages make life sooooooooo confusing don't they????<P>It sounds like you are really making baby steps though!! I don't know is better than NO...at least at my house it is....<P>I think plan A is still in order....but I agree about the fireworks thing with the kids... how old are your children??? I'm just really not in favor of setting this type of example for my kids...<P>The OW in my case is a bit loony and she pines so much over my H when she is at her house that their 12 y.o. son knows what is going on!!! I have a slight problem with that. BUt I was a young adult who watched my father pay more attn to another woman (PA) and her family (kids my age)!!! I really had many issues with my dad over that...and I wanted my mother to leave him...she stayed and continues to take the blame for his unhappiness!!!! <P>So for me the kid thing is touchy..

My kids are 6,8 and they kind of know what is going on.The om use to come over to our house and I did'nt find this sight soon enough so they found out and so did alot of people.I just don't want them to see anymore than they need to right now.

I'm so sorry. It is so difficult for kids... I have always believed that you should try everything possible to restore the marraige when kids are involved.<P>My H always thought that also....if fact his brother's exwife did this (PA) and left suddenly....my h was appalled and had many opinions about the subject. It's amazing what "addiction" does to the memory and conscience eh???<P><BR>I think you should stick to your guns re: the children....saying your wishes kindly but firmly!!!! The times I have drawn the line rationally with my H have worked the best. My H used to be a rational, compasionate man....I know he is in there and will come back despite him telling me "that guy is gone and he's never coming back"<P>(he doesn't remember saying that...and a lot of other things....You just cannot stay this way.....can you?????)<P>.