Remember it wont all happen at once. It takes time and there will be waffling. Concentrate on being a better you, not for her sake but for yours.. she will see it.<P>It sounds nice. It takes time, and I am one who has to be reminded about that.. but that is ok.<P>Smile<P>J<P>something I thought would be nice to read:<BR>************<BR>My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my<BR>sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped<BR>package. "This," he said "is not a slip. This<BR>is lingerie."<P>He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It<BR>was exquisite, silk, handmade and trimmed with<BR>a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an<BR>astronomical figure on it was still attached.<P>"Jan bought this the first time we went to New York,<BR>at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it.<BR>She was saving it for a special occasion.<P>Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the<BR>slip from me and put it on the bed with the other<BR>clothes we were taking to the mortician.<P>His hands lingered on the soft material for a<BR>moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and<BR>turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a<BR>special occasion. Every day you're alive is a<BR>special occasion."<P>I remembered those words through the funeral and the<BR>days that followed when I helped him and my niece<BR>attend to all the sad chores that follow an<BR>unexpected death. I thought about them on the<BR>plane returning to California from the<BR>Midwestern town where my sister's family lives.<P>I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen<BR>or heard or done. I thought about the things that<BR>she had done without realizing that they were special.<P>I'm still thinking about his words, and they've<BR>changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less.<BR>I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view<BR>without fussing about the weeds in the garden.<P>I'm spending more time with my family and friends<BR>and less time in committee meetings.<P>Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of<BR>experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to<BR>recognize these moments now and cherish them.<BR>I'm not saving" anything; we use our good china<BR>and crystal for every special event such as losing<BR>a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first<BR>camellia blossom.<P>I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like<BR>it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell<BR>out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without<BR>wincing.<P>I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties;<BR>clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have<BR>noses that function as well as my party going friends.<P>"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their<BR>grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or<BR>hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.<P>I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she<BR>known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we<BR>all take for granted. I think she would have called<BR>family members and a few close friends.<BR>She might have called a few former friends to<BR>apologize and mend fences for past squabbles.<BR>I like to think she would have gone out for a<BR>Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing.<P>It's those little things left undone that would<BR>make me angry. Angry because I put off seeing good<BR>friends whom I was going to get in touch with someday.<BR>Angry because I hadn't written certain letters<BR>that I intended to write one of these days.<BR>Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and<BR>daughter often enough how much I truly love them.<P>I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or<BR>save anything that would add laughter and<BR>luster to our lives. And every morning when I<BR>open my eyes, I tell myself that every day, every<BR>minute, every breath truly is... a gift from God.<P>If you've received this it is because someone cares<BR>for you. If you're too busy to take the few minutes<BR>that it would take right now to forward this,<BR>would it be the first time you didn't do that little<BR>thing that could make a difference in your<BR>relationships?<P>I can tell you it certainly won't be the last. Take a<BR>fewminutes to send this to a few people you care about,<BR>just to let them know that you're thinking of them.<P>May love litter your life with blessings.<P>To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who<BR>gave birth to a premature baby.<P>To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the<BR>editor of a weekly newspaper.<P>To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the<BR>lovers who are waiting to meet.<P>To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a<BR>person who missed the train.<P>To realize the value of ONE-SECOND, ask a<BR>person who just avoided an accident.<P>To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND,<BR>ask the person who won a silver medal in the<BR>Olympics.<P>Treasure every moment that you have!<P>Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is<BR>mystery. Today is a gift, that's why it's called the<BR>present!!<P>Show your friends how much you care...send this to<BR>everyone you consider A FRIEND<P><BR>