Hi all<P>For those who may be interrested in whats happeneing on this ride.<P>This am I rang W and said to W that after yeaterday it appeared to me that she was still upset and would she be able to send me a letter to let me know how she feels and what it is that I could do for her. Replied that she would rather meet me tonight to talk after cancelling our date yesterday. I course I said "Yes" it would be my pleasure.<P>After the disappointment of yesterday I wondered where this ride would take me today!!!<P>I thought all day what I should say, how to keep from interrupting, keep positive,listen intently, dont become angry ( begin my counting to 100),add a few ahhm, mmm, yes's, and no LB's.<P>The conversation began on small talk and whats happening in the world. I sat beside her a moved my seat facing her as I could not hear her, lent slightly forward and listened intently. I noticed that she had taken her wedding ring off, and after a few minutes she excused herself and went to the ladies, on return she had put her wedding band on. Positive eh.<P>Yes I did interrupt once and was swiftly reminded of that. Ops is one mistake allowed. I was going so well up until then.<P>W said that could I accept that she may never come home. I did notice that this sentence had changed from, not coming home at all, to may not come home. I replied that I can wait as long as it takes, you have to be happy with yourself before being able to think of some one else.<P>W told me that a present she could not look me in the eye or any other male at present and would prefer keep her mind on her work as this is what she enjoys at present.<BR>Near the end I told her I would like us to be comfortable with each other and work on yourselves.<P>Furthermore W added she she would rather wallow in self pity at present than do anything for me.<P>When we were walking toward her car(automobile) I told her that she was very important to me and that I would always be there for her and would she call me. Yes was the the reply and then she gave me a kiss goodbye. <P>I feel at present that it was very positive and I shall keep up trying to forfill her EN's and not to create any LB's.<P>Big change from the past days<P>bye for now <P>T<P>

Yay, T!!!<BR>I think there is definitely positive progress since the other day! Keep avoiding the lb's - I really feel that it works, and letting her know she is the most important person in your life is wonderful. You are doing well...hang in there and hopefully you will continue to see positive results. As others have said to me "baby steps."<P>Take care, God bless - A <BR>

Hey Tim,<P>I haven't caught up from before the weekend, but obviously Gambaro's didn't happen..<BR>I'm so sorry.<BR>But, the conversation you had with her was positive. I know from my own experience that what she said about needing to wallow in herself and lose herself in her work is what my H did too. They all seem to get so selfish, and can't see anything but themselves. I don't know what happens to them.<P>But you handled it so well. Good on you. She will see that she can rely on you, while she is going through whatever it is she is going through. And believe it or not, the love that we do give them does get through to them eventually. Somehow, it does.<P>I can't believe she went to the ladies and put her wedding ring back on. That is wonderful. I haven't had mine on for such a long time, and as soon as my H saw that I had taken mine off, off came his too. Tit for tat........ That is a very positive sign I think.<P>I'll go back and read the other posts, to try and follow what happened.<P>Keep your chin up, and keep doing what you're doing. You're doing great. Have you rescheduled the date, or is it too soon to mention it again yet? Maybe give her some time.<P>Have to go, I'm getting Qld rego plates today. The car is in for it's roadworthy, so it should be ready any minute. I hope so. I've got so much to do before Monday. There you go, if you see some dippy bird with NSW rego plates waving like mad today, you'll know who it is.......<P>hugs to you<P>Jo

Hey Timtam,<P>We are in the same boat here I think. Yep, I got asked for dinner Wed. nite cuz H wants to "talk" and I am kind of freaking out...well, not kind of...I freaked earlier today here on the board.<P>It's kind of sickening that they have this power over us isn't it?<P>So, I have no idea what to expect Wed., but after reading your post I now know how to act. You did great, hope I can follow in your footsteps, and take the news well, regardless of what it is. <P>I am hopeful it will be good, but terrified it will be bad. <P>Wish me luck,and Timtam...as an ex-aussie myself..."good on ya".<P>allison

allison<P>yes, I know exactly how you feel. I coulndnt sleep or eat at all on the day. Love this diet Im on.<P>I hope you follow my footsteps and get the chance to out distance me.<P>I did read you a post and left some suggestions. You dont have to follow them exactly as I wrote. If all else fails just go and enjoy yourself on the night and have a great laugh.<P>Best of luck <BR>Tim