As many of you that know me have figured out, I'm having A LOT of trouble fitting in on this board. My age and humor makes me immature. My wanting to make friends makes me whiny. My being angry makes me bitter. I've tried on many occasions to reply to as many people as I can seeing as my situation is "different". If I don't have anything constructive to say, I at least try to say hi. Please, don't get me wrong, I thank everyone who has ever said anything to me (the ones I didn't get to e-mail a few minutes ago), but then again, I'll probably be seen as selfish for that one. It doesn't seem to matter what my intentions are, I'm ALWAYS being misunderstood. It's like I've said before, this place is so much like high school. There are cliques here. If you don't belong, then you're left out forever. I know what that feels like.<P>I think the minute I said that I lived with Tama's parents and that I wasn't getting along with his mother, that alienated almost the whole board right there. I've tried many different approaches like trying to spend more time talking about me and Tama or totally ignoring my story. I don't expect miracles. I don't expect everyone to talk to me. I don't expect anyone to talk to me. I don't like being called immature because I'm tired of being angry and sad and just want to share my happiness. I'm tired of being called selfish because I'm expressing an opinion. I'm tired of being called whiny because I would like to AT LEAST make SOME friends here. I almost feel like that if either me or Tama doesn't have an affair then I will be alienated. <P>I think maybe it was a really bad idea coming here. Don't get me wrong, some of the people I met here were really nice, but then again, some people were downright mean to me (like the latest person about the flying cow). I feel as though I'm working backwards by being on this board. Even though I've learned a lot, I end up being more mad then when Tama or his parents do something to me. It's really weird. Like I said, I don't expect anybody to accept me, I'm used to being the outsider since high school.<P>Well, I'm going to thank all the people who responded to me that I didn't get to e-mail. I'm really truly grateful for your help even if you don't see it. Right now, I'm going to be selfish and say that I'm glad that I met the ones that I did.<P>Now, feel free to flame me because that's exactly what I'm expecting, but I won't be answering back. If you feel like saying some choice words to me on my decision, feel free to send them to starocean_2@hotmail.com. I always answer my mail.<P>Sincerely,<BR>Miaka (yuki is my last name)<P>------------------<BR>there will be no more signature

Okay...I'll bite...<P>I don't know how to do that nice quote thing, but you said:<BR>"I almost feel like that if either me or Tama doesn't have an affair then I will be alienated."<P>Miaka, did you check out this BB before you posted? It's the "General Quesyions" section of the "INFIDELITY" section of Marriage Builders. We're all talking about affairs here--that's what this board is about.<P>While I doubt that anyone actively wants to alienate you, pretty much the only thing we have in common here is that our luves have been affected by affairs in some way.<P>I hope you find what you need.<P>Good thoughts to you. --HBC

I don't really know what to say to that except that I am sorry you feel that way. There really is a lot of good information and feedback here. If you don't feel it's safe to post without being criticized, maybe you can at least lurk? <P>And unless you address the problem specifically, it won't be fixed. I don't think anyone intends to hurt anyone here. We are all in the same boat! I am sorry if you have felt offended or hurt in any way and wish you luck with your marriage.

Hi Miaka. Sorry to read about you being flamed regarding your 'flying cow' joke. It was mean, alright . I have actually been tempted to say something like that to others on occasions, just to drive a (sensible) point. So the guy must be having a bad day to say that, or he was just confused. You hardly waste space here at all. He must be referring to someone else's chatroom-like thread (<1000 posts ) somewhere on the board. There is a great variety of people here. Some are admirable, some pathetic, some funny, some irritating, some boring, some unreasonable. Try to just learn from useful posts, and ignore the rest. I hope you get over that flaming soon. You have been doing really well. It's perfectly okay to send cheerful posts. Cheers!

KenB,<P>I seriously doubt that the person who wrongly flamed Miaka for her joke mistook her for me. <P>If anyone has a problem with the thread, all they have to do is say so. As a matter of fact, there've been a lot of people who contributed to the thread and not one person had anything bad to say about it. We are all either divorced or going thru a divorce and it is our way of dealing with the problems in our day-to-day lives. We just got a little tired of only posting bad things and decided to post jokes and stuff about our every day lives. You know you are always welcome to join. Anyone on the forum is. It helps to break up the monotony a little.<P>Take care,<BR>Mitzi

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mitzi:<BR><B><BR>If anyone has a problem with the thread, all they have to do is say so. As a matter of fact, there've been a lot of people who contributed to the thread and not one person had anything bad to say about it. ... You know you are always welcome to join. Anyone on the forum is. It helps to break up the monotony a little.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I just did, Mitzi. But it's your thread and you're entitled to handle it the way you want. The MB moderators do not seem to have any problem with it either, otherwise, they would regulate it. Thanks for the offer, but I'd rather not. It's impossibly long as it is already. I thought email would be suitable for that type of discourse. But again, that's only my isolated opinion. You take care also.<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HurtButCoping:<BR><B>did you check out this BB before you posted? It's the "General Quesyions" section of the "INFIDELITY" section of Marriage Builders. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thwonk. Just hit me over the head with fryin pan! Thank you for stating the obvious. Over the last two months I just beeline for "general questions", completely forgetting this is the infidelity section. I'm on the wrong board! <P>Miaka, I checked out the flying cows too. I was more intrigued with how they made it work than anything. As for "fitting in", I really can't help you there. I never worry about fitting in. Guess I'm a bit of a maverick. There was a response to another of your threads by dragontraces. I'm sure you've probably read it. His words are wise and well said. <BR>

Miaka, you gotta come back! I need a friend here because I don't know anyone yet!

I've been the outsider lots of places, lots of times, for lots or reasons. I'm still not comfortable with not feeling as is I fit in but I've come to accept and value myself as an individual. My worth is not greater and no less than anyone else's. I love the line, "Why be normal when you can be yourself" although it is important to be within the social norms. <P>If you feel you must leave, you have that right. Perhaps you might need the right bulletin board somewhere else on the forum.<BR>Personally, I kind of lurk around. Just read the stuff that seems pertinent or as if I might have something to share.<P>By the way, for a board game suggestion, have you and Tama tried Mancala. African game popular among young people of a variety of cultures.