I met my H for the first time in 3 months on Tues he is living with OW. I made sure that I looked my best and was friendly when we met. He said he liked my hair and asked how I was doing when I looked him in the eye he looked down to the ground. I came away feeling great.<P><BR>I had to drop the kids off with him today and he seemed really on top of things. I held it together and only cried once he was gone.<P>Has anyone any advice how to cope with this.<P>Thanks<BR>

Hi annie,<BR>Just wanted to say hi. I'm sorry you are sad.. It's hard to see your h looking great when you are sad..<P>How to cope with it.. I tried to focus on myself.. but it's hard especially when you can't stop thinking about your H and OW. But time will come.<BR>I guess I was ready.. I started to enjoy my job and doing things without my H. I still miss him but I stopped contacting him from my side(most of the time). Before I was feeling really sh?tty and when he asked me how I was I always said to him that I wasn't ok.. Now I tell him I'm totally fine.<BR>My H's job requires traveling so he doesn't stay in town that much. But now everytime he's in town he tries to see me. Yesterday he was hoping to see me since he was leaving today, but I went to hike with my friend! I think this was the first time I wasn't available when he wanted to see me. Actually I felt good.<BR>We don't have kids so it's easy not to contact(but also we don't have a strong bond I guess...)<P>Try to focus on yourself and kids... If you try to look good for yourself.. And try not to think how happy your H looks right now... I don't know your story but your H will come around one day.<BR>Hang in there!<P>MF

MF hi there. Thanks for the reply. I really am trying to work on myself right now and I seem to be doing okay then something hits me right in the face.<P>It is hard to stay positive when H seems so happy and convinced that he has made the right decision. <P>I received my copy of SAA today and am going to settle down to read it later when I am on my own.<P>Love & Prayers<P>A

Annie...<P>This is probably no comfort or consolation, but I want to thank you anyway for posts like yours. I never left my wife, nor ever really considered it, even though the 'pull' and 'temptation' was always there. I know I could have never lived with myself having to face her like your husband did you. And it is posts like yours...that reinforce the decision I made to 'come clean' with my wife and give it my best effort to restore the marriage. <P>I hope your husband will have plenty of sleepless nights to think about you home in bed by yourself...and that he can begin to feel your pain that will pull him out of his own...and maybe begin to make amends.<P>I'm sorry for your pain, and thank you for sharing it here.<P>NoMas

No Mas<P>Thanks for posting here. If post like this help reaffirm your decision then that is great. I think it takes a lot of courage to stay and work things out so it is great that you have done this.<P>Sometimes I think my H took the easier option. It seemed easier to go than to face the hurt he caused. This is just a suggestion but I think sometimes he finds it easy to put his life into compartments and lock pieces away so that he does not have to deal with it. Unfortunately sooner or later these things rise to the surface and have to be dealt with. I just hope that I can hang on long enough for him to realise this.<P>Take care<P>A