Basically, I had a lot of questions regarding divorce and legal separations. This was causing me a lot of anxiety so I met with an attorney yesterday. I'm not planning on filing for divorce at this time but wanted to know what to expect if I did in the future. I live in CA and if any of you have any questions I would be happy to share the info I received.<P>Hoping

Hoping:<P>You and I are in similar situations and I also live in California. Could you e-mail me so we can chat about this? I have talked to two attorneys and am close to signing a retainer to get my divorce going.<P>I'm solarcalc@hotmail.com. Thanks.

I will chime in here. I am most of the way through a divorce in California. Be happy to share my meager knowledge.

I would love to get some advice from each of you. I also live in CA and have only briefly talked with an attorney. I plan to go to the courthouse to see what the CS would come to. But would feel better if I knew more about the laws. I would welcome any advice. LSM

I asked a lot of questions re: custody, moving out of state, pros and cons of who should file, status of ow, dividing assets,kids being around ow, current financial situation, child support and on and on. <P>I feel much less anxiety about the whole idea now that I know the answers. If you have any specific questions ask away I will share anything I learned.<P>Hoping

Child support in California is based on the income of both parties and the time each spends with them. The courts use a computer program called dissomaster. The judge plugs in the information and the program spits out a number. The judge is very unlikely to change what the program spits out. They are too timid for that.<P>You can download a demonstration version of the software at <A HREF="http://www.cflr.com/dissomaster.html." TARGET=_blank>http://www.cflr.com/dissomaster.html.</A> This should give you some kind of idea what the order would be. Mine was less than I expected, so expect that too.<P>If you can't afford a lawyer, you can go to the family law facilitator at the courthouse. Every county os required to have one, and they will answer your questions and help you fill out the forms. If there are no major problems, and you two can work stuff out, maybe this is the way to go.<P>Good Luck

Hoping:<P>Just for curiosity, what did your lawyer say about the ow? Especially the part about her being around the kids.<P>Thanks

My lawyer told me that I have no way of stopping ow from being around my children. The only reason for keeping someone away is if they would cause them harm. He told me that there was a case where someone was seeing a hooker and as long as she wasn't "performing her job duties" around the children, she wasn't harming them and was allowed to be with them.<P>Doesn't seem fair does it. I think the ow would cause emotional harm to my children but apparently the court does not see it that way.

Grandpabri2: Should we wait for OW to file for CS? Or should we do it first?<P>We have been advised to do a DNA test before anything. Should we just sit tight until that is done before we do anything legally?