On my way to work this morning a thought dawned on me...<P>It seems that most wayward spouses or betrayers are working in sales of some kind or are reps. Technical or full time day job people seem to be less prone to affairs.<P>Does this have something to do with more freedom during the day i.e. more opportunities for giving in to potential temptations? Could it also be sales people's general ability to sell or talk with (convince) others?<P>Do you think its possible that one's occupation could influence your way of thinking in terms of marriage?<P>Could it be that if you are married to a sales person you have to be much more careful about meeting needs and satisfying your partner?<P>Where am I coming from with this... Well I'm sure my wife's affair would not have happened or at least not have developed so far if she had a nine to five job. The way I see it is that she is in constant contact with interesting men... all initially strangers who are also salesmen and have the gift of the gab. It had to be a matter of time. So... some bad vibes between us, a nice stranger with a sympathetic shoulder, a lunch date or two, the freedom of movement, all stirred with some good timing and... whalah...an affair. <P>These are just thoughts that were circling through my mind.Please tell me if you think I'm crazy. <BR>

My H's EA was a coworker, but neither was in sales...just plain old office jobs.

Van,<P>I don't think you're crazy, it could be a more common for those in that type profession as you said, but I'm not sure that that holds real true.<P>Sadly, I have betrayed my husband, and I have one of those 8-5 technical computer jobs. <P>I can see how the 'free-time' issue could play in there though - more time to develop a relationship - healthy or not.<P>I guess we all have opportunity to choose to spend time with others, even our spouses, if we give it effort and priority.<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dawnn:<BR><B>Van,<P>I can see how the 'free-time' issue could play in there though - more time to develop a relationship - healthy or not.<P>I guess we all have opportunity to choose to spend time with others, even our spouses, if we give it effort and priority.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I couldn't agree more, for me my Wifes EA was like a brick in the head pointing out all the time we spent apart for no good reason. Things we loved to do together we ended up doing apart because of "scheduling". I have no idea how my situation will turn out but I know I won't ever be to tired to spend time with my W ever again!<P>Fixer 95<P>

Van -<P>I had the affair, but both me and OM had 9-5 office jobs. We both had access to the Internet, and emailed constantly. When he changed jobs, he didn't have as much access to email, and things started to die down - a little bit, anyway. I don't know that a particular profession makes you more susceptible to an affair. I think it could happen to anyone at anytime.<P>Unfortunately, I think affairs can cut across all economic classes, professional occupations, racial and ethnic backgrounds, political affialiations and religious affiliations.<P>I don't even think "free time" is an issue. My work is absolutely crazy right now, but I was willing to jeopardize that and chat with the OM. No, I didn't meet him online, but I think computer access helped him to get closer to me. Some of the things I said in my emails, I probably could have never said to his face. You can hide behind the written words, I guess.<P>Interesting question, though.

My H is a full time executive type. His affair was with an office temp. It didn't start until after she left for another job. She continued to keep calling him and ask him out "for drinks" cause he was just such a cool guy and she wanted to be "friends" LOL.<P>I do think people in jobs where a lot of their time is unaccounted for find it easier to have an affair, not so much coverup to do. Also people who travel a lot. A friend of mine had an affair with a sales rep at her job. It wasn't until after it was over that she realized an awful lot of women (not his W) were always calling looking for the MM, but would never leave messages. Hmmmm.

Hey Van,<P>Yep, H is in sales and so is OW. I don't know if it's so much an issue of free time, but that does not help, as it is a personality type. These people are confident, cocky and my H is king of all schmoozers. No offense to anyone here in sales, but it does seem like my H and those he works with are born charmers. Gotta be to be successful in that line of work.<P>His career is the only thing that has not suffered in the wake of all we are going through. It's the only place he feels in control, and is making more $ than ever. He loves himself while at the office, hates himself the minute he drives away.<P>Interesting post.<P>allison

Van,<P>My H was in the worst possible "occupation:" unemployed. This gave him plenty of time to dally with his college-attending OW, who also had no set schedule to speak of. For him, I imagine this situation must have been irresistable. He had a lot of free time, and so did she. He was impossible to get a hold of or keep track of, as one could imagine. It always used to boggle my mind that an unemployed man could be so "busy" outside the home when he didn't have anything to occupy his time. It's not as though he were out at the hardware store, buying lightbulbs for the patio, or doing repair work on the balcony. <P>What is the old saying, "An idle mind is the devil's workshop?" Really applies here. H's unemployment made it very easy for him to have an affair, and since I was working all day, and into the evening, there was no way I could keep tabs on what he was doing. It was awful.<P>belld