I found it and it says he wants a trial seperation. That he will move into an apartment to see if he can be happy. That he does not love me (like I said he did in our last fight..oops)<P>He said he doesn't want to take much from the house, that he will move soon, and that he wants me to keep the house and thinks I will be able to handle the bills, doesnt want to devistate us financially. ( just emotionally I guess)<P>I was going to tell him I was working full time and ask his plans next week. My birthday is friday and wanted to avoid doing it before, but it seems he may be on a different schedual. The one where they always strike at a holiday. I don't know if I should try and talk to him sooner or wait for him to bring it up. I am happy he said trial seperation, although maybe it was to appease me. <P>I thought I was ready for this but seeing it in his writting was devistating just the same. I am afraid he will just leave the letter and not talk to me at all. I just cant seem to get him to talk to me. Do you think I should try and bring it up so we can talk or just let him make the moves?<BR>Lora

Geesh! Sometimes, when I want to respond, I find myself not posting because I fear that I'm going to be criticised, or told that my POV/opinion is wrong and not "in-line" with the MB principles......but, fingers and toes crossed...here goes:<P>Dear Lora:<P>OMG! Yes, talk to him. BY ALL MEANS! If this (trial separation) is NOT something that you feel would be beneficial to your marriage than SPEAK UP.<P>OK, so here's the tricky part: You must do it in a loving, patient, and caring manner. Try writing up a "mock" script...on what you HOPE to say/relay to your H--so that you can stay focused (and not LB).<P>Please don't miss the opportunity to be HEARD--to convey your HONEST feelings.<P>Peace, ~Marie<BR>-------------------------------------<BR>"And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk more." ~Erica Jong<p>[This message has been edited by ohmy_marie (edited July 26, 2000).]

Thanks Marie,<BR>The problem is he literally won't speak to me so I pour out my side of the issue and get nothing and then freak out and LB all over the place.<P>I was going to ask him to move out or go to counseling anyhow, so this way it will be his decision. I don't want it at all, but feel myself getting angry and ready to LB at his continuing relationship with OW, and avoidence of me. I think I want to try with him out of the house and he needs to go to stop seeing me as the enemy at home.<P>Now he tells me we are having a Birhday party on the 6th of aug. I wonder if he is going to wait till then to tell me.<BR>Lora