Well, you must bear with me. I just returned from a 3 week vacation with the kids. I drove about 3000miles, up to the great lakes for a few days and then to the north east to see family and friends.<P>It was wonderful, I was happy, the kids were happy. I felt that warm blanket of love from family!!!<P>Now I have returned and am having a hard time. I had retreated to plan B for me. My H (who really hated it when I distanced myself in the beginning) only got mad at me for not talking to him...<P>So I am still in limbo...I have no idea what is happening with the EA "close coworking antimaterialism bond" thing... ANd I don't want to know.<P>I do know this....my H is not happy. He is currently with S. and I had to see him at his moms' where he picked up our son. He is distant to all (mom, sibs, kids) but he looks depressed.<P>I'm moving forward with my life...starting some courses to get my job restarted.... selling the house....<P>I'm so torn..though.. He said he didn't want a D. But he has never said much else. Just that he is sad and confused. <P>There is no point in trying to get him to talk...coz he won't right now. I'm not sure what reality can enter his life if he keeps just using his work and exercise and OW (for complete adoration) as his high.<P>I guess eventually even that won't be enough.. I wonder if I should just get the D papers going or just leave it as it is and let time and patience (if my sanity can hold on) be the telling tale.. <P>Anyway. just an update of sorts...and a kind of blue one... School is going to begin in a few weeks here and our youngest is starting K... this will be the first of his children that he hasn't seen off on the first day.<P>You really have to feel for a person who is so sad that he can't "feel" a connection to a little five year old girl who loves him so dearly. What a sad state to be in!!!

tootrusting,<P>I feel for you, My W of 17yrs is so involved with her EA that she feels nothing for our 10 year old son. We all were supposed to be moving to Germany in a few weeks and now it looks like it will just be me and my son.<P>If you are on Plan B, why not just take care of you? You sound like you know where you want to be, so go on and do it. <P>I hope you feel better in the coming days, good luck<BR>Fixer95