I have already written my mother about the man she is seeing and whom I suspect she is having an affair with. Since I was the betrayer is my marriage and since I know what she is doing, should I share my experience with her? I didn't ever want her to know because I didn't want to disappoint her, but know I feel like it might help her see that I do know what I'm talking about. I know she is going to be very defensive when I do talk to her and I need a "leg to stand on". Any advice?

It might help if you take her aside and tell her you would like to have a girl to girl talk. Let he know that you are aware she has been unhappy in her marriage and if she would like to talk to you about it. How she feels. After you have had a chance to listen, then you can share...your story.<BR>Especially if you and your H are back together. All the work it took, and the heart ache that it created in the beginning.<BR>Iknow how you feel I've felt that way too, because etc. etc. etc. that will help her realize you have been there, done that, and want to truly help HER, because you LOVE her and do want her happiness...<BR>Just a thought. <BR>Be prepared for denials, don't get mad, listen. Maybe that's what she's wanted for along time someone to notice her and just listen...<BR>Search your heart and you decide what you will be able to live with. Keeping silent, or talking to her....<BR>Good Luck

imadeit -<P>Wow. I am the betrayer in my marriage as well, but if I thought my mom were having an affair, too, that would be really difficult to deal with. <P>I don't really have any advice, but it takes a lot of courage to share your story and insight with anyone - much less your mother. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope she is receptive to your advice. Maybe she really just needs someone to talk to and maybe you could refer her to this board for help as well. Good luck.