Well folks, I have now got my copy of SAA and I am officially starting a long distance plan A today.<P>Please wish me luck.

Good luck annie!! <P>Meg<BR>

Hi Annie,<P>Just a few (yeah, right) words of encouragement re: Plan A.<P>It is really hard. Be prepared for how difficult it is. But, every time you have even a small success on the plan you feel so good. It took me forever to really learn the right way to act at the beginning of Plan A. I didn't really get mad a lot (never have), but I'd get clingy and whiney. Yuck. Those are just as big of LB's as yelling at your WS. And they are biggies on the guilt scale, something I had to learn I was doing to my H...making him feel guilty a lot. <P>I guess it's just as easy to go over the top with Plan A. I think at the beginning I was acting sort of phoney. I had to fit it into my life, and still be me. I didn't send H little cards and notes prior to his A. Should I have, heck ya, but I didn't. When I sent him one a few weeks ago it made him really suspicious. I got questioned on this one. He knew it wasn't "me" to do these things, so I backed off on that one. But it is me to listen better than I used to when he talks now about work or tells me a funny story. I'm not always rushing to get things done when I'm with him...he needed attention, big time, and I never provided him with that.<P>Just make it fit who you are. Make it you, but a better you. Don't get discouraged when he doesn't recognize your changes, he won't for a while. Learn to bite your tounge, literally...you'll need to. The fingernails in the palm trick usually works to keep me quiet.<P>Sorry to be so long, just hoping you'll avoid some of the mistakes I made early on in Plan A. I still make mistakes, but can see them and amend them sooner than before. <P>Good luck to you annie. <P>allison

Thanks for the good wishes and advice - it is really helpful.<P>I have just moved house and H got phone connected for me. I sent him an e card to say thanks and that is really all it said.<P>At the moment he seems so happy with OW that I think it will be hard to meet his needs but I will certainly try. I do not think that he is quite as happy as he makes out or why would he be asking people out on the net just because she was away on holiday. He was also visiting adult rooms on the internet while she was away. It also seems a bit strange to me that they fought so hard to be together and then she goes for 3<BR>weeks holiday by herself. Perhaps it is just me but it does seem strange.<P>I will take very small steps and only do what is in my nature to do. I will try to let the children convey the other changes in me. <P>Thanks for the good wishes<P>Love & Prayers<P>A

annie h,<P>PTC...<BR>Do check out my post... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>...<P>Do also lower your expectations... <P>Stay here for more advice too!<P> <P>Jim

Thanks Jim<P>I will lower my expectations. It is hard but I do realise that it is necessary. Baby steps and expect nothing back. I intend to post here and hopefully get feedback from you guys. You really are all wonderful people with an awful lot to offer.<P>Love A