--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<BR>Thank you, I feel as I am getting stronger, I had court yesterday for my anti harassment order against her, and I got it, she tried to fight it, saying that he was living with her now, and I just told the judge that my children needed stability and his going back and forth, and me not knowing anything about her proved enough to him, that she shouldnt be around our children, she was not happy, and for the most part, I dont think he was either. But they left, hand in hand. I was happy though, I got what I wanted. It hurt seeing them like that, together, but I know it wont last, if he doesnt get help, he will do it to her. And she is so gullible, and beleives in their "LOVE" so much she cannot even see it!! Thank you all for the support, looks like I have 3 more weeks to go in my pregnancy, dr gonna take me early. I know in my heart, everything will be ok. Thanx again!!!<BR>Now for the bad, I received papers in the mail today, proving that he is the father of a child, from 4 years ago. Yes, he had an affair then as well. We got over that one, but he has since done it again. He now has to go to court to establish child support, which looks to be around 400 a month, and 18,000 in back support. So now what do I do? I have an appt with a lawyer on Monday, and I started my counceling today, and still havent heard word one from him, it has been 3 days since he has seen or talked with his children, and I have no way of contacting him, is this abandonment? My only means of contacting him, is by leaving him a message at work, in hopes that he will get it...is this even worth it? I feel almost as if I just need to move on.

MikAsh--<P>Protect yourself and your children. <P>That's what you do right now. And that's what you ARE doing. <P>I think you're going to be just fine too! Stay strong.<P>Laura

Hi MikAsh:<P>You sound better today in spite of the news about the OC from 4 years ago and the court appearance today.<P>Seems like with these H's it always one thing after another....read Mental's post today <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/004322.html" TARGET=_blank>"I was wrong...wasn't plan A.....it was to soften the blow" </A><BR>...that should make you feel better.<P>Seeing your H with OW is always hard...he should have been more considerate of you and not been there to support her...there you were, pregnant and all, fighting to keep his OW from harrassing you...must have made him look real bad to everyone. <P>One day guilt is going to eat him up about this, but he can't see it right now. Don't give up, you have the tools to come out of this with a renewed marriage if you just have the courage to hang in there long enough for time to work it's magic on his "foggy" brain.<P>Keep getting stronger, keep posting, and take care of that baby.<P>Buffy<P><BR> <P> <P> <p>[This message has been edited by buffy (edited August 02, 2000).]