Okay, I'm not jumping for joy just yet but I did want to let everyone know the latest. Last night, H and the OW broke up. He told me on Wednesday he didn't think it was going to last much longer and then...BOOM! He has to be out of her place by the weekend. We have decided that it would be best he did not move back just yet. We will continue dating. I have told him about my fear they will get back together. He said even if she came back and begged him he doesn't want her. She has done something he can never forgive her for. He won't be dating anyone else. Just needs some time to himself. Actually, I told him I don't want him back here unless he's ready to work on our marriage. He said he's not ready. It makes me sad but at least we're being honest with one another. In the meantime, he has made arrangements to move in with a friend whom I happen to hold in high regard. I am very greatful to this friend for allowing my H to stay with him.<P>I am looking forward to this next chapter in our story. I am also being realistic in knowing the OW could pop back into his life at any minute. I will just pray that they are truly and completely over.<P><P>------------------<BR>Molli<P>Find your strength within!

Molli,<BR>Great news!!! <BR>I understand you can't be happy 100 %, but I'm very happy for you. See, Plan A DOES work <BR>And I'm glad OW had no idea about LBing, and at the end you know your H much, much better than her.<BR>It's good idea you are going to date him before he can be ready to work on the marriage. I'm sure this road is still many bumps, but you will go through it.<BR>Molli, I'm soooooo happy for you!!!<P>Meg<BR>

Absolutely GREAT!<P>I had a feeling you were the next on our list of success.<P>I am so very very Happy for you, Hon! You did a really good job and are very realistic about the whole thing. You see your marriage in your mind's eye as it could be and you made a path there.<P>Stay steady with Plan A and God Bless you.<P>Remember .... things may still be a bit of a challenge but we know you're up to it.<P>Molli, any chance you can post your stats on this post. You know, your dates and duartions on D day and such. Interested in hearing it.<P>Keep us posted!<P>Jo<p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited August 04, 2000).]

Molli:<P>What great news!!! <P>But take it from someone who has been there. Go carefully with your emotions. What betrayers say and do are sometimes different. <P>Even if he believes strongly that he will not go back, he still may...after things have cooled a little. But even if he does go back, things are never the same again and he will come away again.<P>So you're right to just date and wait and see.<P> But we'll be happy for you tonight and hope it all works out.<P>Buffy

Well, everyone, as of last night (after I originally posted) he was still at her place. He said they have talked some but not to worry - he will be out of there on Sunday. Why not last night or today? I don't know. He said he didn't think I believed him and my response "I'll believe it when I see it." So I continue to be realistic...<P>Meg - <P>You're right, Plan A does work. What's even more amazing is that in the beginning of all of this it truly was a just that - a plan. Not anymore. Now it's a part of me and a part of my life. I am unable to go back to the me before plan A. That's for the best, of course. I know the bumps will be plenty but, hopefully, not as incredibly high as this emotional rollercoaster. Thanks for the positive words!!<P>Buffy - <P>Not to worry, I'm doing my best to keep my emotions in check. It's so sad that I can't be getting my hopes up too high. I should be jumping for joy and all that. I can't. I'm so afraid all of this is just an illusion and everything will come crashing down. I am truly afraid he will continue his relationship with her or that while he's dating me he will date others. He knows this. I let him know what my fears are. He says I'm putting the cart WAYYYYYY ahead of the horse. I say I'm just being realistic. I know I have to take this one day at a time and I have to remind myself that daily. <P>Thanks for the reply, Buffy!!

Jo -<P>I thought I'd post this reply separately as it will probably get a little long. I am more than happy to post my stats.<P>H met OW Jan 2000. It happened to also be the 10th anniversary of our meeting as well (oh, yeah!). He drives limo PT and saw her naked in the back of his limo. Of course, when I spoke with her on DDay she never mentioned anything about that. Anyway, he pursued her and in early February they went out for the first time. Supposedly the A became a PA within 5-6 dates. That puts it somewhere in mid Feb that it became a PA. I actually picked up on the A immediately but was in denial. In early April I realized I needed to face reality. I found his cell phone (had no clue he even had one). Pulled up the numbers called and within a half hour knew her name, where she lived, where she worked, and her parents name. Got all of that off of the internet (scary, huh?). So DDay was April 8. I went to her and spoke with her before I spoke to my H. She told me everything. She didn't know he was married. He told her he was divorced. Anyway, she wasn't going to have anything to do with him. Then I went home and confronted him. He stayed that night but was a total jerk. Then the next day I heard from family members this was not his first A. I have since found out this was a lie. I should have never trusted my sources. As it was, though, I was sp upset I kicked him out of the house and told him I was going to D him. He went to a friends house that day. That night he seemed truly remorseful but when I spoke with him the next day, he was at her place and she had taken him back. They were going to work things out (UUUGGGHHH). So I found SAA that week following and began Plan A another week later. It was horribly tough. My H was such an a$$. Not the man I knew or married. I had no clue who he was. Thank God for MB. I lost 25 lbs in 4 weeks and was a nervous, emotional wreck. Within about 4 -6 weeks, H began calling me for unusual reasons. Then Memorial weekend he showed up at home at 3am and spent the night (OW was out of town). He would show up just for the heck of it after that. In early to mid June he asked to stay at home when he watched our D while I worked or went out. Before that he watched her at his mom's. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCE was our D ever to be around the OW. I made that very clear. I knew the OW did not know he was spending time with me and our D. I finally asked him about that right after July 4th and he confirmed my suspicions. As for the rest of it. You've read my posts. We are dating and things are good.<P>Jo, thanks so much for all of your words of encouragement now and in the past. I always look forward to seeing your replies to any of my posts. It has really meant a lot to me. <P>Take care!!<P><P>------------------<BR>Molli<P>Find your strength within!