<BR>Lora,<BR>I just logged on and saw your <BR>last resonse to me last <BR>evening...<BR>How strange is it that we <BR>are so alike??? <BR>Congratulations on your <BR>weight loss! It feels great, doesn't it?? Was your husband a factor in the decision to drop the weight?<BR>I'm sorry that your family is splitting up. I can imagine that it is very painful after fighting for your marriage for so long. I feel that way about mine...like I've been fighting for 2 years...against him! I'm flat exhausted, and like you said I'm getting angry too!<BR>How are you feeling now that a date is set for him to move out? Releif, panic, remorse? You said that your husband would never admit to the affair...did you ever consider hiring an investigator? I'm about to open up a topic on that to see if anyone else has ever done that. It's very scary to me...sort of like that saying, "Be careful of what you ask for, you just might get it!" Please respond if you can. I'll be back in the forum around 8:30 tonight.<BR>THanks for all of your help! <BR>Jen<P>------------------<BR><BR>JJJ

Hey jjj10,<P>I'm a bud of Lora's. She's working today and then has an appt aft work. She should be home and on the board after 7:30ish PST.<P>SHe may try logging on in between work and her appt tho, so hang in there, Hon.<P>Jo

Gee jo, You know me too well. Here I am between my work and appointment , just like you predicted. LOL<P>JJJ,<BR> Yes I guess my H was a factor in the weight loss. But I found it was also easier because I have been going to counseling and getting out my feelings and maybe I didnt have to eat to cover them up so much. then again there is the famous infidelity diet where you loose weight effortlessly due to stress.<P>So far I feel mostly releif about him moving out. Releif it is out in the open and I know he won't just leave in the dead of the night one night. <P>The PI thing. I never really considered it although I thought of doing my own and still do. I guess I came to a place where I felt I knew that he had an inappriprate friendship with her. I still dont know and probably never will if they had sex. I know enough to know he lies to me, he sees her whenever he can, he disregaurds my feelings. Will knowing more details help you? Will you do anything differently if you have proof? Because I have to tell you if you think you can get proof and confront him with it... I'm not sure he still won't deny it. I think you will need a picture of them in the act in order for him to admit it... even then ??<BR>And maybe it is just an inappripriate frindship so you will get no solid proof. Then what? Back where you started. So the best thing seems to be, treat it as an affair, follow the principles here and try to improve your relationship so he doesn't have the need for this outside of the marriage relationship.<P>I hope this helped I will be back later<BR>Lora

<BR>Hi Lora!<BR>Thank you for your words of wisdom. I believe you are absolutely right.. what good would investigating what I already know do me? It would cause me more pain and anguish because he would most certainly deny it!<BR>I am going to re-read the "emotional needs" section again and see what I can do to rebuild some of what may be broken. I can't imagine that I am innocent in all of this. I must not be fulfilling some needs so he is turning to someone else...<BR>You know what is keeping me with him is that I guess I cannot let myself fully believe that he would sleep with someone else and still be sleeping with me. That is just absolutely disgusting. I've asked him that question and he replied that he could never do that. But all signs point to "something"...I'll get back in touch tomorrow once I go through the emotional needs section and see if that helps me.<BR>I got some good replies to my "Has anyone ever used a PI to uncover an affair" topic. I've decided against it completely.<BR>Talk to you again soon, and thanks a million.<P>------------------<BR><BR>JJJ