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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 41
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 41 |
I keep reading about the fog that WS have to deal with. Is this the decision to stay with the OP or the S? Can someone who is no longer in contact with the OP still be in the fog. Is guilt a part of it. Could "the fog" be why my W needs time away from us to decide if she wants us. She has said so many times that "Yes, I do want this marriage, but don't know how to provide you with what you need, and don't know if I can ever" She tells me she wants it, but needs time away to decide for herself. What the heck is going on with her. <BR>LHC2
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 1,299
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 1,299 |
Hi LHC2,<P>The fog that you keep reading about is the delusion the cheating spouse is living in. It might be that fantasy of being with the OP and living happily ever after, or that this OP is their true "soulmate", or that the OP is just perfect, etc.<P>It is referred to as a fog because the cheating spouse does not see clearly and is somewhat living in a dream world.<P>This may or may not be what is affecting your wife. I know that you were both in counseling, and that you continue with the Harley counseling. How about your wife? Is she receiving any counseling? She needs to, because this confusion is not going to get better without some help and guidance.<P>Peppermint
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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 297
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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 297 |
I also have a question concerning the fog. If the wayward spouse decides to stay with OP and divorce spouse, are they still in the fog, or have they come out of it and have decided the OP is really who they want afterall? I ask because I have been in counseling for 2 yrs because of my unwanted divorce, but ex has had no counseling and has lived withOW since divorce. He doesn't appear sad or confused at all.
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 10
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 10 |
.<p>[This message has been edited by Reztles (edited August 09, 2000).]
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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 2,997
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Joined: Feb 2000
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I was talking with a friend of mine last night about depression. She suffers from chronic depression and has to take anti-depresants for life. She said that her state of being before she started taking them was like she was in a fog. <P>I think there is a definite link between depression and affairs and 'the fog' of depression can lead to 'the fog' of an affair. Then when the affair ends, there are many conflicting emotions that cause more depression and more fog.<P>LHC2, I can definitely relate to what your wife is going through. At least she konws she wants the marriage. I don't even know that much. For me, the fog is one of depression for which I will be getting help soon.<P>
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